Tilly

Valentine day (loner in love)

2007-02-14T23:10:00.000+08:00

arh... the day for lovers... the day i wish i can celebrate it with a love one... but, i do not have a love one... and end up doing night shift at the gym dating the gym ladies... ahaha...

for those who didn't know... poor tillyson is still single and available and searching for that right girl to come along.. and he'll grab her with both hands and will never never let go. haha..

damn right, i wish for a lady to be right beside be right now, tell her that i love her. hold her tight and listen to her breath. feel her warm skin and kiss her gently on the neck. but, just too bad. no chance. haha...

realise i was damn weak now. lack of trainning, i can't even lift the weights i used to lift during youth gym trng. shit. that is bad. i shall work on it.

and damn. bad hair cut.

since its valentine day. i shall not spoil the mood, thus this song by Busted:

Loner In Love

It was an amazing end to the perfect day
Sun sinking low in the sky
We sat and watched all the dolphins swim in the bay
That crazy look in your eye

We ran in slow motion over the sand
Into the ocean holding your hand
But then it gets hazy
And I lose you and then that's when

[Chorus:]
I wake up scared to phone her
Realise I'm a loner in love (yeah yeah)
It's still the same old story
Tears of morning glory no luck
That's the reason why my life sucks, very much
Being a loner in love

The next day I ran into your current boyfriend
Told him what we did last night
Before my story had even got to the end
He challenged me to a fight

I ran in slow motion away from him
But he caught up with me, kicked my teeth in
Now I've got no chance cos'I can't even grin
No nothing's changed and

[Chorus:]
I'm way too scared to phone her
Realise I'm a loner in love (yeah yeah)
It's still the same old story
Tears of morning glory no luck
That's the reason why my life sucks, very much
Being a loner in love

We ran in slow motion over the sand
Into the ocean holding your hand
But then it gets hazy
And I lose you and then that's when

[Chorus:]
I wake up scared to phone her
Realise I'm a loner in love (yeah yeah)
It's still the same old story
Tears of morning glory no luck
That's the reason why my life sucks, very much
Being a loner in love

I wake up scared to phone her
Realise I'm a loner in love (yeah yeah)
It's still the same old story
Tears of morning glory no luck
That's the reason why my life sucks, very much
Being a loner in love

Being a loner in love, you know that it sucks

what sports car should i drive ?

2007-01-16T22:52:00.000+08:00

You Should Drive a Ferrari

Sleek and sexy, style has a lot of importance in your life. And you'll pay a lot to look good!

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatsportscarshouldyoudrivequiz/">What Sports Car Should You Drive?

Libra - your love profie

2007-01-16T22:47:00.000+08:00

Libra - Your Love Profile

Your positive traits:
You are open minded enough to date outside your typical "type" ... successfully!You are diplomatic - and likely to end a fight instead of dragging things out.You are easily loyal and faithful, but only for the right person.
Your negative traits:
You're a bit gullible, and partners take advantage of you. You still may not know it.You find it difficult to decide where to go to dinner, what movie to watch, who to date...You have to be in a relationship, or else you just don't feel like yourself.
Your ideal partner:
A smooth talker who enjoys socializing as much as you to.Someone classy and cultured who knows which wine to order with dinner.Is beautiful to you - although not necessarily attractive in the traditional sense.
Your dating style:
Romantic. If your date comes bearing flowers, wine, and poetry... well, your heart soars.
Your seduction style:
Giving. Your lover's pleasure is as important as your own.Soft and sensual - you don't like anything to be rough.Extravagant ... your fantasy involves staying at a five star hotel with your love.
Tips for the future:
Don't be so quick to compromise in relationships - and you'll get taken advantage of yes.Try being single for a while. Seems impossible, but you'll learn so much about yourself from doing so.Make some decisions about your romantic life, right now. You'll be happy that you did.
Best color to attract mate: Green
Best day for a date: Wednesday

What's" Your Love Profile?

hello 2007, goodbye 2006

2007-01-03T00:19:00.000+08:00

2006 was quite a good year, lots of great happenings and lots of bad ones too. well, hope that 2007 would be a even better year, with lots of happy stuff.

heres my late 2007 new year resolutions ;p

1- do well in school, got to improve my GPA
2- pass my driving
3- as usual
4- exercise more and get the 6
5- interact more

haha... in fact, there are quite a few more. but, i'll be happy if i can at least 3 of them. so, i rather not put them up. ;p

hmm... hahaha... oh well... happy 2007, hope it is a good year for you too. ;p

schools fine...

2006-12-30T23:53:00.000+08:00

long long time ago... i remember tillyson... hasn't blog for a long time...

and now he wants to blog, but doesn;t have the time... but, he just leave he blog for fun...

ok.. thats damn random...

school has been damn fun. currently now is the Special Projects team.. where we come up with different ideas and proposer and carry them out. fun. other than that, its sports sports and more sports. real bonding with tthe class. lotsa pictures to show. i will post them up 1 day.

anyway. happy new year. and u guys pray that i won't be lazy and blog more often. for now, tata..

happy new year !!! let this be the last blog of the year !!! ;p

i want it that way.

2006-11-30T23:20:00.000+08:00

this song is by backstreet boys. i hand type this. no copy and paste.

You are my fire
The one desire
believe when i say
i want it that way

but we are two worlds apart
can't reach to your heart
when you say
that i want it that way

Chorus:
tell me why
ain't nothing but a heartache
tell me why
ain't nothing but a mistake
tell me why
i never wanna hear you say
i want it that way

am i your fire ?
your one desire ?
yes i know its too late
but, i want it that way

Chorus- repeat

now i can see that we've fallen apart
from the way that it used to be, yeah
no matter the distance
i want you to know that
deep down inside of me

you are my fire
the one desire
you are, you are, you are, you are
don't wanna hear you say

ain't nothing but a heartache
ain't nothing but a mistake
i wanna hear you say
i never wanna hear you say
i want it that way

Chorus- repeat

this is gonna be very stupid. this is gonna be crap. not really. had like a girl for quite some time now, though, i know its kinda impossible for us to be more than just friends. she doesn't wants to be attached. i'm ok with it. but, sometimes... i just wonder. i know, shes the one that i want. but, we are just so different. no idea why i get jeslous over her and stuff. no idea why i think so much. has i really lost my sense of being a "flirt". even though, i refuse to be called a flirt, and most people called me that. for those who knows me well. you know the sad side of me. its not always the cheerful, crazy tillyson that you guys always see. thank god, i got the bros. but, seriously... the bros are not just enough. i need someone whom i can recharge my mind and body. i feel tired too. and i am almost dry out. no, i ain desperate. its just that, i had found someone, and i thought, i could finally recharge. and, just because of that. i had became relax. i no longer held it on a tight ship. i no longer hold that feeling i had for 2 years plus. in fact, i am a change person. maybe. shes such a nice girl and all. she is beautiful, cheerful and shes's just a lovely girl. everyone likes her. how should i say this, arh. 1 word will do, "angel". she might be rich, smarter than me and everything else, better then me. i dun care. i ain sure, if she would. but, what i know is that, i dun stand a chance. and i have no idea how she feels. and i have no guts to ask her.damn, i dunnoe why. felt so weak. this ain the tillyson that used to be. whats happening ? deus said..., no way. i doubt. maybe. but, either way, i dun stand a chance at all. why am i thinking of all these stupid stuff. i need to recharge. that song above, i think. says it all.

close down ?

2006-10-31T20:59:00.000+08:00

its been a while, since i blog... and my heart, its in a mess... a terrible one, that is.

1stly, i had not blog for a long time. i know that. but. i does not seems to have the mood to blog, most of the time. should i close it down ? after all, its quite a dead blog.

2ndly, why heart is in a mess, is that. someone, up there is messing with me. i had choices of quite a lot, i realise. but, i do not want to make choices. i don;t want to choose. if i had to. then who ?

arh... TEP had started for 2weeks or so now. 4 more weeks then, i'll be at the specials project team, followed by the gym. hope i can deal wit it soon.

2006-10-14T22:32:00.000+08:00

wow !!! what a night!! it was a great night !!! thanks everyone...

i will not forget it...

and yes!! i know how how to put up a pic...

look at the 2 beautiful ladies...

Eighteen years of living in this world !!!

2006-10-13T01:25:00.000+08:00

thats right !!! Eighteen years of living in this world !!! i was born eighteen years ago... oh great !! its 1.21am in the morning... and i actually had this type out and publish. but the publishing fail me. nice gift from blogger. ahaha... i shall recall and do this again. ;p

whats an 18th birthday, without my eighteen wishes ?

thus, this is my 18 wishes:

1) For a girlfriend. (as usual)
2) To be racing in F1. (my dream)
3) For my family and everyone to be happy always.
4) For my family to be rich.
5) For the bros to have our own companies.
6) For everyone to be healthy with doctors and nurses to be out of job.
7) For world peace. (i know i sound corny)
8) For another 24 hours a day to do things we wanted to.
9) For a band-aids that can heal everything, inculding my broken heart.
10) For the Victims of tragedies that happen.
11) For those who falls to stand up again, after all its only a small fall.
12) For the enviroment to stay healthy.
13) For everyone to fall in love and have a happy family.
14) For those who wants their body to be what they wanted.
15) For those who have tests or exams to pass with flying colours be it As, Os or just a driving test.
16) For my diving lesson to pass by march. (at least)
17) For the pride in me to stay always.
18) and as always, another 18 more wishes !!!

there you go... my 18 wishes...

oh great, i'm 18 !!!

i shall say my thanks now, even if its only an hour or so in to my birthday.
i thanks my parents, bros, everyone. thank you for your wishes and stuff, i'm glad you guys remember. for those if that didn't, DAMN YOU !!! na... just kidding.. haha.. theres always next year and the following year and the following year...

THANK YOU EVERYONE.

Hope DXO later would be wild.
Hope my future wife appear.

i shall buy drinks. i shall buy smoke, eventhough i don't smoke. i shall watch M-18 show. i shall bet legally in toto, 4d and soccer in singapore pools. i shall club legally. ehx, what else arh ? ;p

D-day tml...

2006-10-12T15:07:00.000+08:00

tml is the day... the day that 18 years ago i was born... the day that i used to wish that it would come soon so that i can drink legally...

but now... i dun wish that that day would come... i wish for a stand still of time for me to do stuff that i wish to do... arh... whatever... i guess things change to dramatically... and i guess i can handle it yet... maybe...

camp...

2006-10-09T22:26:00.000+08:00

yes... its been long since i blog... lazy...l haha... dun complain... i am here now, blogging... doesn't matter much anyway... not many people read my blog... i can count with 1 hand...

last friday till yesterday, sunday 11am... camp !!! ahaha... NYP, water sports club camp... its was overall fun... great fun and knowing alot of people... girls that i wanted to know, i knew them all now.. haha.. and, maybe, going after 1 of them... maybe... great camp... no sleep...( overall i slept 1 and a half for the whole camp) still, its great... ahaha... yeah.. just misses camps... and yes !!! girls... sorry... haha....

gonna start school next monday... hope everthing will go well...

ohoh... DXO this friday !! 16 and above... contact me for tickets.... my birthday also... ahaha... ;p

Bastardize....

2006-09-26T20:52:00.000+08:00

haha... i don't think theres such a word in the english dictionary... wait... there is... haha... well... allow me to tell u why i name this entry that...

last saturday... went out with the bros and stuff... before dinner, was just deus and me... we started talking about girls and stuff (as usual)... and then, as usual, we came to the topic of getting attached... on how i should get attached, how easy i could have gotten a girl ( which i don't believe), how great is it to have a girl friend... no gerard... i ain't as desperate as you.. haha.. well.. i once was.. but not anymore.. because i have thought it through... and realise something... and we talk about the past... which makes me feel damn bad... really really bad... if only i could turn back time... things might not be the same as it is now... haha... oh well... maybe

what makes me so bastardize is that when we talk about the past, where i have girls who like me, but was rejected by me... worst still was that, many girls has mistaken the fact i was good to them because i like them, with at the same time, they like me, which is a huge mistake on their behalf... and mine too... many good, beautiful ladies that could have become by my side, was "abandon" by me... hurt by my lack of my bad sense of noticing girls emotion... sadly, with me saying that, i am desperate in looking for a girl... when all along, she was standing right in front of me, and i did not notice... the best part was... it was a different girl in most case... what an asshole i was... but blame me not, i did not notice them because, i treat friends in damn good order... espically girls who are friends of mine... in fact, most ladies, i treat them with the out most respect and stuff... thus, ending in the misunderstanding... still, this explantion, does not satisfy me nor the ladies i have hurt... this i am sure.. and i am terrible sorry to them... take 2 examples... Verena and JieYin... both are smart ladies, and are in their respectable junior collages... both has a liking for me once, but was negected by me... and i know i have hurt them both terriblily... Verena thought we were going to be together, deus, adrian and most people thought so too... but, as in a change of event, that never happen, because of me... Jieyin, has like me since the days of primary schools... but i was young and had other things in mind, she was rejected by me... and i think, it was quite hard on her too... from what i heard, both ladies cried and was wondering why all the time in their head... but i can tell you that is that, i have no idea why too....

Tengming... i girl whom i have asked number to make friends and had shown interest in... but she too was sort of "toyed" by me... but i have no such ill intention at all... that was because, ray had shown interest in her, and in terms of back ground, smartness and stuff, i was never able to match up with her... and with ray as my teammate and buddy, with my own prinpcles in life... i ack out, dispite how tengming like me... same, shes in her respectable junior collage...

JieLin... my first girlfriend... there were happy times together... but stupid me, change all that because of polo... my comitment to polo due to the pomotion to youth team, change all that... i neglacted her, thus the breakup... if not, we might be still together till this day... maybe... she is now in Poly, doing chinese mass com, with me swearing that i will not go back to the youth team unless... thus, the main reason of kicking myself out of youth team as i had hurt many people with my commintment to the team...

then, as usual, the flashback to my last and 2nd gf i had till now... jas... i could remember nothing about what she likes and stuff, nor the times we had together, because we did not had them together at all... infact, not even 1 date and we spend 3-4 months+ as a couple... weird ? haha.. nope.. this time, theres nothing to do with me.. this time, its is her... nono.. i shan't put the blame on her... as maybe it was also my fault... but... oh well.. over its over... but everytime i saw her, i just can't help wondering, and thinking... why didn't we go out, whats wrong with me... and why on earth did i like her ? i have no idea... guess, love is blind...

those i mention above, are just some examples, and are people whom, i might not be able to forget due to what has happen... infact, there is lots of such examples, other than the last 1.. i hat to say this but, i am sure of hurting more than 20 ladies... and that is a confirmation that i know... those who i hurt without knowing, might be more... i have no idea... people used to call me a flirt... well, maybe i am.... maybe.... but i hate to be such a person... because, i ain't the kind of person who wil play with someone else feelings... not me... no way i would do that to a girl.. no way... thus, to those i have hurt you... sorry... i didn't mean it... i might not have realise it, because i am such a fool...

but therse 1 thing i can assure u is that, the person, whom i like, and be together with me, i will cherish her, love her, protect her, care for her and do everything in my outmost power to do so for peace and everything else, just for her... to be happy, cheerful with a smile every morning that will greet me when i wake up just beside her... this, i promise you... no maybe... must be

ouch, ice cream...

2006-09-19T15:59:00.000+08:00

lots of things happen over the week... but i will only blog what happen today...

fust came back from the dentist... took out 2 wisdom tooth on the right... and damn... it hurts... 7 days MC... wow... like as if its gonna make any difference to me... i am after all on holiday... can't train.. can't cycle.. ~~fuk~~ man... and the team (polo) are having freiendly with the gals this sunday... how !!! hack care larhs... oh oh... i think my face is gonna swollen up tml... like a pig.. cool... how to post pics ? teach me somebody... so that i can post pics of my piggy face... haha...

lastof all.. the best... guess what i am suppost to take for lunch ?

ICE CREAM !!! thin mint... wow... good... yum yum... haha...

new stuff !!!

2006-09-12T20:49:00.000+08:00

yes... went out to town with deus for 3 hours and i end up spending 160 bucks.... damn... haha... lets see, what i brought... firstly, a distance calucutor which cost 99... bucks !!! a pair of gloves (coz i lost my sailing gloves and i damn need those gloves) which cost me $30.... Rip curl slippers.. thats another 26 bucks... and last of all, a lego racer keychain that i have been looking for it for a long time, thats another $7.. and i finally found it... though, its not excatly the suit the racer is suppost to wear, but so be it... ;p happy me, hole in the pocket me... oh well...

i was darn piss at myself and the team yesterday during training... firstly, i was damn piss at myself on why on earth am i slacking... what happen to those i used to have, 2 years back ? then louis got to leave early for a meeting so i was left in-charge, after all i was the captain... as usual, the taking out of ropes and setting up the goal post... then darn... they are seriously taking their own sweet time... shooting was a mess, a little game we played, was a mess... no displined, no self control... no teamwork... this ain't a polo team... its more to me like a swim team.. where everyone mind their own business... great !!! and next year jan or fed, we have to major compeletions... the IVP and the NUS invitation... how to even win 1 game.. we get trash like nobody business... this does not look like the team.. yes.. i gave a freaking scolding... so what... i dun think they care... neither am i going to care soon.. crap...

went to bed at 1.30am... but i just couldn't sleep no matter what i do.. i was thinking of drinking myself to sleep... but i didn't... so i end up tossing around until 4am... shit... new record of tossing in bed... during this time.. i was thinking of alot of stuff... love, relationship, money, business, studies... future... and i also realise alot of things... things that i dun feel like accepting it... things i hate to know about... things i wanted so much for... lots and lots of other stuff... just thinking and thinking... and i am suppost to be dead tired after training and going to bed so late... but yet... oh well...

somethings are meant to be yours, will be yours eventually... *Quote from tillyson...

the Way i do

2006-09-08T21:23:00.000+08:00

took this from someone's blog...

The Way I Do - Marcos Hernandez

Your kiss, your smile, your mind
You're sunlight in my eyes
I miss your breath on my neck
When we whisper in the night

Didn't wanna want you
Didn't wanna need you so bad
Didn't wanna wake up
And find that I was falling so fast
Didn't wanna need you
Didn't wanna need anyone
Now look what you've done
Now I can't go on without you

I'm naked, I cant fake it.
I'm not that strong without you.

Your touch, your skin,
can't believe the way you let me in
Don't rush tonight,
I need you like the ocean needs the tide.
Didn't wanna want you

Didn't wanna need you so bad
Didn't wanna wake up
And find that I was falling so fast
Didn't wanna need you
Didn't wanna need anyone
Now look what you've done
Now I can't go on without you

I'm naked, I cant fake it.
I'm not that strong without you
Never thought I could love you the way I do.

I always thought I would stand on my own
Climb a mountain top all alone
Relying, depending on no one
Now look at what you've done
Now I can't go on without you

I'm naked, I cant fake it.
I'm not that strong without you
Never thought I could love you the way I do.
Never thought I could love you
Never thought I could need you
Never thought I could want you
The way I do

eternal love

2006-09-05T00:00:00.000+08:00

haha... nope... i ain't attached or anything.. its just that i am seaching for this song, thats all.. i like this song...

anyway, yesterday i have a family bbq at pasir ris park... instead of going with my family, i cycle there... quite fun... 1 hour and 40 mins to reach there... and i did not stop for rest or anything... fun... will do it again...

training just now was alright.. i guess... because of the rain, so game was cancel... damn... oh well... nvm... there is always a next time... team is getting well... moral is ok, they are learning how to play fast... but, discpline, totally sucks... no discpline at all... feel like pumping them and all.. but... i stop myself from doing it... due to alot of reason... oh well..

damn... gonna lost of much motivation... all my girls are at camp... OBS etc... damn...

oh yes !!

2006-08-24T21:30:00.000+08:00

oh yes !!! finally !!! haha... finally i can blog... arh... darn...

no idea why i can't but, finally, here i am able to blog !!! yeah...

no much to tell infact...

all i can say now is i have swollen face for a good 3 days.. and that sux... damn..

y ? because i went for a minor surgry to extract out my wisdom tooth....

thus, now i lost part of my wisdom as it came out with the tooth and i have 3 more to go... arh....

and for the pass 4 days, i manage to survie on rice and plently of soup... stupit... gonna die of no meat!!! arh.... kk...

shan't bother you... going for check out tml to take out the stiches... eh...

post exams...

2006-08-14T23:01:00.000+08:00

yup... exam is over for me... ahahaha.... okok...

sorry... i am darn lazy now... but i figure that my blog need an update... so here i am... writing crap... 2 months of holidays... woah...

oh yar... all thanks to marleen that i have such a beautiful blog skin now....

thanks marleen... ;p

exams...

2006-07-30T23:13:00.000+08:00

sorry....

exams period....

won't be blogging until 11-08-2006(friday), 6pm due to exam...

04-08-2006, 10am-11.30am : Business Finance
07-08-2006, 10am-12pm : Business Law
08-08-2006, 10am-11.30am : EFMA
10-08-2006, 10am-12pm : Marketing Management
11-08-2006, 4pm-6pm : Intro to Sports and wellness

darn... got to study...

exams.... sucks...

looking forward for the holidays... hee hee... ;p

-={dreams}=- (be like that)

2006-07-19T20:59:00.000+08:00

wanted this to be a private entry... but i realise i can't do that... so thus... is is quite, very private things to me... so thus, those who read this entry, please dun give me comments or anything... its just something stupid...

anyway, before i start anything... i am regret to recieve this sad news... 1 of our 7 bros has turned single... but don't be sad... like i always say... in the ocean there will be fish...

realise a number of time that i realise this... i am waiting for that prefect girl... yeah, thats right... but i am always over eager... my dreams could prove me that... i refuse to listen to it even thought i knew that it was infact an signal of me thinking too much... allow me to relate these dreams to you... the rest its up to you to believe... this is my dreams of desperate and impatient... :

#dream 1 [18/7/2006]

was on the second story of the building, look down to the wide range of books and geeks... was in a place that i was not familiar with... like as if it was an really old place... if you watch movies and stuff, it is those buliding that has stairs up to the 2nd story on the side of the hallway... and this is where i was standing, with another person i have no idea who but i guess its a friend of mine or pehaps my partner... next thing i knew was there was a robbery... both us jump down form the balcony and into the crowd, before the robber could run anywhere... my partner went after a guy... and i realise there were 2 of them... i turn the other robber on the shoulder and wanted to give him a punch... but as i saw him, i couldn't... he is not a him, but a her... and through my dream, i think i do know her, as in in the dream... so i sort of hold her tight on her wirst and not letting her go... with a sadness and aching feeling i have in my heart... next thing i know was i am bring her somewhere... i had carry her in my arms... had this warm feeling... then i heard myself saying... "sugar, what do you think you were doing ?" i realise that, hey, this is my sweetheart.... brought her to this court... i have no idea what court is that.. but all i know was i was crying, as she enter the court while i am gonna be outside waiting... i could remember her features and everything... it kinda makes my heart melts everytime i think of that sense of her... cause as she enter the court, she gave me a warm smile... then my partner pat my shoulder and say:" i have no idea that was your wife, but good job major ! " then i woke up...

#dream 2 (2006)

was dress like a knight with this white thingy... the background was like a place i had play before in the game serious sam... had a huge band of i have no idea what people opps my band of people.. seems like i was in a war of some sort... i was on a horse... i rasie my sword in the air and shorted for glory for our country !!! and i dashed forward with the roar of my band of people... yes, it is a war. what war, i have no idea... was fighting and fighting... was fighting up the stairs of a ancient building until i heard a sweet voice: "daddy, daddy, i'm here !" there on top of the stairs was this beautiful lady dress in white, she is so young and she seems familiar to me... next to her was a lord of some sort, how do i know that cause, i heard myself shouting to him: " lord XXX (i forgot the name i shouted), don't you dare hurt her...". then i shouted to my band of people:"to me my warriors !" with it, i rush up to the top of the stairs and ended up, having a 1 on 1 fight with this lord. no idea how i won thought, but i was badly injured. then i heard the sweet voice again:"daddy, daddy, are u alright ?" here i realise, this is my daughter all right. no doubt, she kinda look like me. but, she is so darn beautiful. i reply that i was alright, and i order 2 of my warriors to look after her while i will enter the building, for what i have no idea. "be carefull daddy." i turn around and said, i will. so i was walking toward the door of the buliding. at this moment, all i can think of was this beautiful lady who is my daughter. man, i couldn't believe it. just as i enter the building, boom.... with that, i woke up... after waking up,i was wondering who this lady is... as i have no idea who that lady was, and i confrim that i did not see her before, plus the fact that she does look familiar and does resemble me... also the daddy thingy... was that my future daughter ? i have no idea.

these dreams do make me wonder... did i make it up ? nope i did not... i can swear to that... then, could it be that i saw my future ? maybe... but i guess, i have been thinking too much... focus dude... she will come one day.. you know it... you saw it... you believe in it, thats explain why you are single... wait on dude... wait on...

by 3 doors down... be like that...

He spends his nights in California,
Watching the stars on the big screen
Then he lies awake and he wonders,
Why can't that be me
Cause in his life he is filled with all these
Good intentions
He's left a lot of things
He'd rather not mention right now
But just before he says goodnight,
He looks up with a little smile at me
And he says

If I could be like that,
I would give anything
Just to live one day, in those shoes
If I could be like that, what would I do
What would I do

Now and dreams we run

She spends her days up in the north park,
Watching the people as they pass
And all she wants is just a little piece of this dream,
Is that too much to ask
With a safe home, and a warm bed,
On a quiet little street
All she wants is just that something to hold onto, that's all she needs

Yeah!
If I could be like that, I would give anything
Just to live 1 day, in those shoes
If I could be like that, what would I do,
What would I do

I'm falling into this, in dreams
We run away

If I could be like that,
I would give anything just to live 1 day, in those shoes
If I could be like that, what would I do,
What would I do
If I could be like that,
I would give anything just to live1 day, in those shoes
If I could be like that, what would I do,
What would I do
If I could be like that,
I would give anything just to live 1 day, in those shoes
If I could be like that, what would I do,
What would I do
falling in
I feel I am falling in, to this again

no longer slack (she will be loved)

2006-07-10T22:32:00.000+08:00

yes... i am glad that trng no longer slack... haha... then i could improve myself... haha... after all i'm kinda the "founder", i must have some carbie... if u get what i mean....

got ica tml... better study... man i really got to study... i have been too slack... got to buck up... haha... oh well... maybe... no.. must be...

this is a darn nice song by maroon 5... enjoy...

Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else

I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get insecure
It doesn't matter anymore

It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved

I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

-blank-

2006-07-10T22:14:00.000+08:00

hmm... i have been darn weird for the past week... i cannot take it anymore... acting damn crazy... what the hell happen to me... feel darn sock too... also i have no motivation to study, work and play... also not forgetting trainning... that succks... maybe i am being stagnant.... maybe... or Procrastinating... either way... i still dun like the way i am now... this is no good... bad... real bad... wake up tillyson....

saw jasmine just now... she seems to be like so glad to see me... haha... but i am kinda too... well... not really... saw my nepal gal too... arh... tillyson y on earth are u so flick-minded... haha... well... coz i will never able to get a gal of my dreams to like me... or infact... i can;t get any gals at all... i suck... shit head... not rich, nnot really smart, no postion, not famous.... haha... lousy ass... i know u are freaking desperate even u told people that u are not... but u are... stop lying... u know what your heart priority... and u also know whats the world priority... so what the fuck are u doing ? need a guide... need a light to guide me... i'm in the dark... need an angel... maybe...

hope no one see this...

happy birthday Shu Ying !!

2006-07-05T21:20:00.000+08:00

haha... happy birthday shu ying and merelda... though i doubt u girls would read this anyway... haha... may all your dreams and wishes come true... and have fun in germany, shu ying... haha.. remember to bring something back for me.. haha... oh well... take care....

projects are a pain in the ass... haha... i have like 3 projects and its killing me... arhhh... got to endure... 4 more weeks to go and i'm out of this pain... it would be holidays then... ahaha.... oh well... better get back to work... ;p

y do i bother ?

2006-07-03T23:10:00.000+08:00

yup... was wondering why do i even bother... but since its a girl who ask me to do it, thus... maybe i should... haha... sorry alison, but yes... i have no idea why i bother to do this for you.. haha... seems so girlish... oh well...

INSTRUCTIONS:

1. Do the following WITHOUT complaint.
2. Choose 5 person to do this after you completed yours.
3. Leave a tag on the person's tagboard to say he/she have been tagged.
4. Start your post with "I have been tagged!" then do this.

Favourites
Favourite Colour: white, sky blue...
Favourite Food: meat !!! i am a carnivore
Favourite Song: quite alot... but i hate techno and heavy metals...
Favourite Movie: mission impossible, take the lead, top gun, infact, i have quite a list...
Favourite Sport: motor sports, water sports...
Favourite Day of the Week: Friday
Favourite Season: summer
Favourite Ice Cream: thin mint

Currents
Current Mood: tried, abit high
Current Taste: meat !!!
Current Clothes: sports and wellness polo tee and jeans
Current Desktop: erm... tilly desktop ? coz its fixed by other people
Current Toe nail Colour: erm.. normal ?
Current Time: 10.48pm
Current Surroundings: my room... bed, desktop etc..
Current Annoyances: hmm... the polo team... haha...
Current Thoughts: man... i need a girl... wait... obviously shes out of my leagure, i'm wasting my time....

Firsts
First Best Friend: hmmm....
First Crush: hmmm.....
First Movie: how i know ?
First Lie: can't remember
First Music: i was only a baby...

Lasts
Last Cigarette: when i was primary 4 ? my dads cigarette
Last Drink: ice lemon tea
Last Car Ride: just now... justin(nyp swim team)
Last Crush: my nepal girl...
Last Movie: blue crush, on the com watching
Last Phone Call: xinyi
Last CD played: no idea

Have you ever
Have you ever dated one of your best friend: No
Have you ever broken the law: of course
Have you ever been arrested: No way, i'm too smart for that...
Have you ever skinny-dipped: nope
Have you ever been on TV: yup... can't remember for what... want my signurate ?
Have you ever kissed someone you dont know: nope... though, if she is cute or hot, i dun mind... hee hee..

Things
5 things you are wearing: sports and wellness polo tee, jeans, levis briefs... thats all...
4 things you done today: play soccer, go waterpolo trng, studied, woke up...
3 things you can hear right now: mum washing dishes, music from marleen, keyboard sounds...
1 thing you do when you are bored: sleep... nono... dream...

PEOPLE TO TAG! Alison, Alison, Alison !!!!! haha...'

so, there you go alison... haha...

contradiction (who do you love)

2006-06-22T18:06:00.000+08:00

yup... condradiction.... i have contradict myself millions of times... and here again i have...

anyway... just woke up 4 hours ago after a good night, morning of clubbing at DXO... gonna be a last clubbing until quite a while later... my next holiday or in fact after my final exam for this sem... haha.. yeah... met alot of familier faces... here and there.. jazreen, Sharon, yi wen, angela, yi zhen... people from OBS... lots... haha... oh well.. glad i met them again... learn afew stuff also... realise what a loser we are... haha... don't really dare to touch and dance with people... damn... what a god damn loser... what happen to you tillyson ? this is suppost to be your trade, your specialty... haha... loser...

hmm... i thought i have decided not to do that anymore... i don't wanna to be called a playboy, a flirt anymore... but thats clubbing... u got to be one... arh... whatever... faithful ? how on earth are u gonna get girls... u are single for 2 years plus and so needed a girl u know that ? wait.. thought i say i am freaking busy this sem and i had a oath with james that i would not get a girlfriend until 1 and half years later or after army... but there is expection to this oath isn't it ? if i founf the right girl, i have the right to break this oath and go for her... hmm... then who is this right girl ? sometimes u got to try to know u know that ? so isn't that just plainly breaking the oath ? also, do u actually have the time, money and space for it... u are working now... exams are in 6 weeks time... projects are crazy... u have so much to revise... and u need the money from work for your freaking car license... wait... then u put your first choice of wanna get is a girlfriend... fine... what the hack...

besides that... who the hell are u actually wanna go after... what sup with u man... who do u want ? who do u need ? stop wasting time and freaking decide who the freak u want... even if she doesn't like u, but you knoe u stand a chance... then what sup are u waiting for... are u mad ? so whos is it gonna be ? your a guy... your trade... and u freaking worry... what the shit... stop it... dude... u gonna decide... who is it gonna be ? asshole... if u wann... go all out... u know the rules... and what the hack... u just stand there and watch... action speaks louder than words... maybe she has already hinted you... so waht are u waiting for ? match make ? u know u are suppost to make the first move... reject, then reject larhs... lousy... getting jealous for what sake ? its your fault... u know u ain't that kind of guy... u know u can do... pride... where is it ? bloodly hell.... freaking empty vessel... arh... i can't take it no more.... fuck...

Here we are
You tell me I'm the only one
Who makes you feel love again
There you go
I see you watching him
When you don't think I know
Should I let you go?
So who's it gonna be
Is it him or me?

Chorus
Who do you love?
Who do you need?
You're messing up my mind
Wastin' all my time

Who do you love?
What do you feel?
Stop playin with my heart
You're tearin me apart

Am I the one who can make you fly up above
Is it me who can take you higher than you're dreaming of
Now who do you love?
Who do you love?

Turn around
Do you really think you could
You'll play me like a fool
For you
Then I realize
When you touch me it's like nothing I have known
Could I let you go

So who's it gonna be
Is it him or me?

Chorus x2

go-kart

2006-06-19T23:53:00.000+08:00

haha... miss racing... ah... wanna get a go-kart and race... better still, get spotted and go for international races...haha... yeah, i know.. dream on...

yesterday, didn't go for work and went sentosa with family instead...

love the luge... i think thats the way to spell it, anyway... love the speed that its was going down, the control, the coners, moving as if there is an engine and i'm racing.. miss the feeling and i wanna do it again...

guess i'll be visiting jurong soon for go karts... maybe on my birthday... i wanna race... haha... oh well.. maybe...

dumb asshole

2006-06-17T22:08:00.000+08:00

sorry for the title... just wanna scold myself for alot of things... especially the rules of engagement... nope... not any rules, but my rules... damn... those are rules that once broken could have a damn bad ending... shit... arh... stupid me...

lots of things happen during the week... drinking, clubbing and stuff.. too much and too lazy to blog... haha... (also i am piss at myself).. haha...

*note to me only:

should i, or should i not ?
should i, or should i not ?
should i, or should i not ?
should i, or should i not ?
should i, or should i not ?
should i, or should i not ?
should i, or should i not ?

somebody tell me... arh... shityou tillyson... asshole.. arh... impaitent ass... u know the rules, and u broke it.. u know the orth, and u also almost break it and would break it... u know how things would turn out to be.. and you still would break it... what the hell are u thinking of ? get a grip of yourself dude... please stay firm as you once are... u are a mess now, your head is in a mess, you situation is in a mess, your hair is also in a mess... oh great... where is the pride u hold so greatly ? don't just because of that and you could throw alway everything... i know u are capable of that, but no... hold on to it first.. you're still young, you ass... plus, i know u can't forget... cine... you know that, and why do u still... you know it might not gonna hapen what u hope it will, cause half of your worthless piece of heart has already went somewhere... you wanna wait, but you are impaitent... oh hell...

*end of note to myself

sorry for that... anyway... heres a song that kinda fits my mood now... Dreamz fm...

Had a drive
Driven by your love
But when you messed around
I lost the drive I found

Thought you needed
Needed someone true
But you changed your mind
Or had I failed you?

Wish you’d been
Careful with my heart
But you tore it apart
And broke an angel’s heart

The kiss was true
Has to end somehow
But I am livin’ proof of what love is about

It’s hard holding you
Loving you, losing you
It’s sad to be true
And be fooled by you
I don’t know (I don’t know)
I gotta know
Should I stay or should I go?

You played me on
Played me like a clown
But I feel for you
Eventhough I’m down

My heart is heavy
Heavy like a rock
But I am so amused
You’re still in my thoughts

It’s hard holding you
Loving you, losing you
It’s sad to be true
And be fooled by you
I don’t know (I don’t know)
I gotta know
Should I stay or should I go?

Oooohh…should I stay?
Should I go?

It’s hard holding you
Loving you, losing you
It’s sad to be true
And be fooled by you
I don’t know (I don’t know)
I wanna know
Should I stay or should I…?

This time its done
It’ll never feel the same
But we had some good times
Guess it’s sad just the same

I guess the truth
Doesn’t matter somehow
But you were livin’ proof of what love is about…

The longest yard (Fly Away)

2006-06-07T22:26:00.000+08:00

finish my projects... finally... but i've not touch my jap.. arh... oral test tml... dun think dirty... eventhough i would pass that with flying colours too... haha... oh well...

just watch the longest yard again... arh... i love that team sprit... hope my new polo team in nyp will have that kind of sprit... plus theres a bad news... toa payoh polo team has been disband... thus... i'm kinda teamless... my DREAM TEAM MATES : Issac, Raylim, Kah Leong, Ivan, Kenryu (keeper) and me... haha.. i know theres only 6 of us here.. yes... in the feild of play there must be 6 players and a keeper... oh well.. actually there is 1 more, however hes kinda not in our team anymore... still our dream team has prove ourselves and has works wonder for this 5 years... let me recalled our achievements in general...

1st year: first met and started suffering together... trainning is like hell.. got trashed in whatever games we played... even to the gals... 2 of our players got selected to be in the youth team B... Issac and i...

2nd year: training is still hell... big imporvement... champion underdogs for under 14, trash every single team... 2nd for under 16, lost to RI... on par with the womens team... out youth team B for both of us...

3rd year:trainning is slightly better... bigger improvement won under 16, crush, trash every single team... high scoring games... 2nd for under 18... lost to hua chong JC... won the womens team... all went for youth team A training...

4th year: 2nd for under 16( i didn't play), trash the girls... all still in team A... 2nd for under 18 again... kenryu left team to austrillia.. but still comes back for holidays and play with us...

5th year:Dream team disband... 6 of us still play as a team together... on sunday games... ivan, raylim and issac still in youth team... kah leong, tillyson, out of youth team... issac playing for RJC, raylim and ivan playing for SAJC, kenryu playing for hiss aust team, kah leong is teamless but i'm draging him to join NYP... tillyson, NYP newly started team that has not even touch a polo ball before yet...

haha... so there u go... our dream team general records... doubt i'll find the team sprit and bond i had with my dream team mates.... they are guys i would shed blood and sweat for, would wack someone up in the game for, and would cheer and support no matter what... the sweat and pain that we have gone through... the blood that we bled for each other... the spirt and bond we had... in the game, we sorta can read each other minds and know what each of us are gonna do next... its like we're 1... hopefully, we still are... 3 cheers and cheers for toa payoh... HIP... HOE! HIP.. HOE!!! hip... HOE!!! thats the waterpolo cheer...

hope everybody succed what they do... hope my NYP team would turn out great...

this is a song from the movie the longest yard... by Nelly... waterpolo.............

[Nelly Talking]

Free City
This is a shout out to every young brother ya know
Thats doin his thing right now
Keep ya head up...
He's walkin the yard wishin he had wings
Ya know so he could fly up out that joint
Man

[Intro]
If I could, fly away
Ooo and I wouldn't come back no more
I, I'd turn around,
Just to see you for the last time,
See, now I know
Hey, that it won't be easy
I done fought in a battle,
and I done made it this far
I gotta few more feet,
but its still the longest yard

[Verse 1]
Man, it's the longest yard I ever had to get in my life
And see my life ain't right, if my wife don't write
My niggas cant eat if the fish don't bite
My raise the gross sales, like Mike and Ike
Now big brother almightyI keep a gamma ray, i'ma G-5 G
Take a G-5 jeep, G-5 deep
Too some of their bare feet
And that jeep don't speak
Listen mayne they lock it down round herre
See body bag and gag and your found round herre
This as serious as it sound round herre
The guards guard the ground, 4 pounds round herre
And they ain't playin, they're just lettin you know
That anything they want to happen, nigga happen real slow
Get the word from upstairs, put you in that holeI cant take it,
I'm just ready to go

[Chorus]
If I could, fly away
Ooo and I wouldn't come back no more
I, I'd turn around,Just to see you for the last time,
See, now I know
Hey, that it won't be easy
I done fought in a battle, and I done made it this far
I gotta few more feet, but its still the longest yard
Yeah yeah, its still the longest yard
Uh uh, its still the longest yard
Um um, its still the longest yard
I done fought in a battle and I done made it this far

[Verse 2]
I'm in my cell 20 hours a day
And doin push-ups ever hour a day
Cause im tryin to keep the cowards away
Thats why im markin off the calendar days
Tryin to get it out of the way
And im just tryin to keep a piece of mine
And im gon shame a motherfucker with a piece of mine
Cause he tryin to take a piece of mine
So im gon slice his ass a piece at a time
But now that they close the door
Lock me in, in a cell 30 deep but its built for 10
Tell me what kind of world they got you in
With the barbed wire fences, box u in
From now, til they turn off the lights
I'ma read anything in sight
Its kinda hard tryin to read at night
But I'ma change my life
And hope another brother take this flight

[Chorus]

[Verse 3]
(Oohh no) I gotta make it out this place some how
(Oohh no) Man I really believe that I done turned it around
(Oohh no) You see, all I need is that second chance to show,
since I crossed the ration, my obligation of rehabilitation
(Oohh no) They can punch me high, and they can kick me low
(Oohh no) Spit on me, it's gonna take more than that for them to break my soul
(Oohh no) Man its hard for people to understand what its like to be,
gated, incarcerated , I just cant take it, but I'ma make it man to see better days

[Chorus]

[Hook]
If I could fly away,
If I could I turn around,
If I could fly away

Jam and Hop

2006-06-02T22:25:00.000+08:00

call it fate, call it i like clubbing...

after trng, theres actually Jam and Hop in school !!! and i have no idea about it... haha... so the whole team actually went in and take a look... man, theres so many babes... so hot... whoo....

saw a few familiar faces... like... Jasmine, YeeJoo, my lecture gir, etc...

man... i saw a damn hot babe.... cute, she is very... thats it already....

maybe...;p

be with you

2006-06-01T21:12:00.000+08:00

just watched the japanese movie Be With You... its darn nice... don't ask me why i was watching it during this busy period... its just that i need a break and i got to return this cd at sat...

love the story line... oh well.... i have no idea what else to blog about.... too much stupid things i guess... all i can say is...

i had a beautiful dream on wed... maybe it might be true... just like what i hope that happen in the movie, except the die part... oh well.. maybe...

Formula 1...

2006-05-28T22:22:00.000+08:00

like the tittle, i've just watch Formula 1 on tv... and its been a long time since i watch a compelete race... and its a darn nice race today at Monaco, my favourite race track in F1... shall not bored you guys with my passion for Formula 1... but i must say this 1 thing... kimi has done great catching up with alonso, eventhough, he end up with an engine blow... but still, from the race i can see he had tried hard and almost could have over taken alonso... montoya, good job for taking 2nd place, but if only kimi was not out, then it would be a 1-3 or a 2-3 win... still, good job guys... not bad, micheal... from a pole postion to last place and ended up 5th... not bad at all... haha... ;p

anyway, i'll add some stuff on this blog that u guys might wanna know about me... for example, my top 10 wanna be... top 10 wanna get, etc... bear with me... i'll work with marleen... marleen, when u are free... tell me... i need your help...

btw... good luck to all those taking chinese 'O"s tml... all the best... don't stay up too late... ;p

my grandfather...

2006-05-27T00:56:00.000+08:00

was watching a show... reminded me of my grandfather....

hes nolonger in the world now... but i kinda miss him so... weird... but this is not the usual me... this water ain't suppost to flow out... but i just did for a whole 5 mins... why, i don't understand... but i miss the way he hold me, talk to me and everything... memories are so faint... just miss him all of a sudden... oh well... why am i blogging this ? i don't know... i will delete this post after i'm in the right state of mind... and my mind has not been in a right state of mind for like 2 weeks now... arh... forget it...

25th of may... thats 2 years....

2006-05-25T21:40:00.000+08:00

wow.... i didn't realise that it was so long after my last broke up... haha.... 2 freaking long years... man... not bad... i didn't expect myself to last that long... was expecting that maybe a year single the most... 2 years... great achievement... i shall drink to it... haha... sorry... i was kinda high now... was quite tired after studying... after all its something worth celebrating... 2 years... WOW !!! haha... :(

other than that... received a bad news today that kinda confrim my fears... haha.. don't ask what... that news lost my total motivition to go lecture... well, i 'll still try to go for lecture... the word is try...

today doesn't seems to be in the right state for me... or either that, i'm not in the right state of mind... theres a huge thunderstom over singapore this afternoon... haha... seems like someone upthere nows how i feel... oh either that, my heart is crying and the rain cries with it... maybe...

also, after i reach home... around 6.15... my chest starts to hurt... its like as if someone is squzzeinf my heart or something... then it went all the way down to my stomah... i've been feeling that heart squezze for like a couple of times now... but its happen over the years... happen once in a long long long time... nope.. its not something that i imagine... its real... eventhought, i always dismissed it as maybe a overworked me... but i fear it might be a sudden death to me... hopefully not... if it happens again and longer.. i'm going to see a doctor... like what i almost wanted to do just now... hope at least i got to see my kids get married or i get to see my grandchild before i die... haha... my heart, or chest seems kinda as if theres something resisting it pump... a very small resist.. but still i can feel it... actually, ive told nobody about this before... so if theres anything that does happen to me... those who read this blog can at least know what happen... hate to revel this little secert of mine... but yar... don't worry... i doubt i'll get into the hospital so soon.. i still need to bring my grandkids to swimming lessons... haha... ;p

what a day.... wheres that person that i could share this day with ? wheres the person who can take a day like today away... oh well.. ;p

polo is starting.... (you're beautiful)

2006-05-24T20:17:00.000+08:00

yup.. as you can see from the title, waterpolo is approved in NYP, so, soon i'll be trainning at NYP... also, that means my crazy plan of trainning myself is going to be in place... cool... haha...

my class is seriously a sports and wellness class.... every now and then, we'll play sports of all sorts... and be it, guys or gals, they'll all join in the fun.. and thats the way i like it... haha... but, todays dodgeball, i kanna an blue black on my head... smart right... haiz... oh well, after that head to head bang, i couldn't play well... haha... oh well...

arh... really feel like having a girlfriend... and i wish i could forget that girl... i wan somone by my side... through, what i said now i think is not gonna come true until afew years later... man, i can't wait for tml... i'll blog tml... so watch for my blog and u guys will understand why i'm waiting for tml... stupid me, but yar...

guess this song suit my feelings now the best... its by james blunt... enjoy

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Fucking high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.

There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you

busy lonely bee

2006-05-21T22:28:00.000+08:00

it has been a busy week and it will contiune for about another 2 more weeks before i could once again relax.... lotsa projects due dates and ICAs do be done... (ICA is like common test with precentage weightage) so, due to this i might not able to blog often, making this a little dead blog... so maybe u guys can make it alive... ;p

man... i'm kinda stress out and tired... if only i have someone who could share all this with me and be by my side... YES !!! i need a girlfriend... i kinda badly need one... i want one that i could just hold her tight... when she smiles, she just take my trouble away... haha... well, infact, i don't mind how she looks like, just as long as she loves me... i don't care who she is, where she from, what she did... as long as she love me... thats all... all she gotto do is let me know... or, hint me... thats all... best id tell me stright in the face...

but if she can tell me this five words that i wanna her... i'll confrim be with her wholeheartedly no matter what, until the day that she loves me nomore which i hope that day will never come.

this is the five words... _ _ _ - _ _ - _ _ - _ _ _ _ - _ _ _ _ _............ maybe

i know i know...

2006-05-13T22:56:00.000+08:00

haha... i know i know... its been quite a while since i last updated... oh well.... heres an update...

been a busy 13 days this month... had projects coming in and jap lesson to follow and learn... and i have yet to memorise all those words... oh well... thats school... also a full proposer must be done asap for polo to start up, and i want it to start up, at least these something for me to look forward to during swim team trng...

saturday and sundays are so burned... i'm now working as a lifeguard at Raffles Town Club... pay is 7 bucks an hour... not bad, but as usual, boring... plus, there aren't many babes as where i used to work, at NTUC chalet....

talking about babes, i just realise how many babes i could have gone after and get a girlfriend in return... haha... wait... i still can now... but its like i kinda all of a sudden have lotsa choices to choose from... mostly from NYP... but now with my work and school plus polo coming up, i was wondering if i would have ime to spend with her... haha... maybe i should stay and stick to my oath... maybe... i'm so tempted to get a girlfriend, after all i'm going to be single for like 2 years at 25th of may 2006... haha... suprised ? well, don't be... i ain't a "playboy" or anything that you guys hear in school... i'm very faithful to my girlfriend... haha... truely, if i have a girlfriend, i wouldn't even look at girls... weird, but yar... you can confrim with gerard on how faithful i am and but not the stuation of me being single... wanna know ? ask me, i'll tell you truefully... ;p

oh yar, think i got a soft spot for kids... funny but yar... found then so cute and adoreable... OH OH... also, saw a very young kid jumping in to a 1.2m deep pool and swim when she can't even touch the floor... shes not afriad of the water at all and swims very well for her age... and when i ask her mum her age, guess how old she is ? 4 years old... man, thats damn young to swim so well, and shes a girl... imagine boys that age who are afraid of water... wow !!! next time when i have my own kids, i make sure they learn swimming, cycling at a young age like i used to learn, or better still, like this young girl... shes good !!! ;p

mission impossilbe

2006-04-30T00:45:00.000+08:00

didn't get to see her...

will stay single...

piss...

but not piss at didn't see her but, sumthing else....

oh well...

D-DAY

2006-04-29T01:19:00.000+08:00

D-DAY....

wish me luck... hope i do see her again... and do what i'm suppost to do...

A-YI-TEH !!!

A YI TEH !!!!

2006-04-24T21:55:00.000+08:00

today had swim team trials and waterpolo "trials"... haha... theres chio bu... really not bad ones... kinda hot man... polo team is confrim gonna happen.. haha...

A YI TEH means i wanna see her...

and its been 2 days... my mind is going crazy over it... my heart beats faster everytime i picture that moment and think about it... its like... as if its happen just now... that dazzling eyes... its makes me going head over heels over it... i so regret not asking her no... i shd have ask no matter whats gonna happen... at least i tried if i did... but nope, i did not... gah... she has this enchanting thing that... i just can't explain... i just wanna see her again... oh please... let me... i miss her...

i wanna see her again.... A YI TEH... :(

Coward met a Angel....

2006-04-23T01:43:00.000+08:00

Before i tell you guys why i put that tittle, i wanna scold Joe cole !!!! stupid asshole... lousy play by Lampard, thats why kanna slap by Jose Mourinho... damn... why the hack Chelsea lose to liverpool with a score of 1-2... stupid Joe !!!

Anyway, went town with the bros today... kinda hanging around looking at girls (as usual)... met Jazreen, Nanda, Sharon.... but the unforgetable moment, is still this...

we're at level 4 of cine... then a girl with her friends, walk past us... and she so caught my eye... beautiful hair, attractive face, divine features, marvelous maroon spaghetti top, stunning jeans, exquisite shoes... man, she is infact wonderful... but the guys was like, jas type... to me, noooooooo.... no way... shes too gorgeous to be that type... ok.. maybe a little... no matter how much they say that shes like a copy of jas, to me, shes a totaly different person... someone with this angelic aura... wanted to know her so much but deep within me was holding back to something... i don't dare to ask her number... Coward !!! i know... i shan't be that way... i should be brave... but this freaking ACJC guy, i think he knows somthing was up, so he was infact, kinda protecting her, thus making me a barrier to ask for her number... dumb, i know... but... oh well... call me whatever you like... but during that time, i really wanna know her... shes so... stunning... we actually had eye contact... lotsa times... why am i so afraid ? stupid tillyson... freaking coward... you knew she knows and was waiting... then what the freak are u waiting for ? damn you !!! shes so gorgeous.. and you knew you met your dream girl... then what the hell did you do ? stand 1 side and watch her... watch her ravishing smile... watch her elegant posture... what a Loser !!! she was waiting... but she gave up waiting... what the hell... freaking coward man... stupoid ass !!!

after that, went to eat and walk around... well, in my heart, i was still not yet given up hope yet... i was kinda seaching for her... my radar was off... i wasn't interested in any of the girls not matter how hot thet are... i didn't even give a look... and thats something so new to me... hot babed and i don't even give a look... well, i just want her... well. yar... crazy me... after that, we decided to settle at Mc cafe at lido... was talking about almost everything under the sun... oh yar... i so realise that i wasn't listening to them talking at all... i was thinking of her... every minute, i was... even in the bus on the way home... realise what a fool i was... the chance was there, wide open, but i didn't cherish it... dumb !! i only given up hope look for her when we're at mc cafe...

oh well, now i really hope and wish that i can see her again... i think, she might be the one... i wanna see her again... i miss her already... i just can't stop think of her... please, someone up there, please let my wish come true... i wanna see her... please let our fate and destiny meet, and let our paths cross again... i want her... please please please.... just 1 more time... i need to see her, even if just 1 glance... but please let me at least know her... arhhhhhh..... i just want her... shes like everything for that short time phrase... when our eyes met, its like time freaze... and we're in a competely different time and space... that feeling... was new... something i never felt before... shes the first that made me feel this way... i want to see her again... will our path meet again ? maybe...

4th day of school.... jap class !!!

2006-04-20T22:07:00.000+08:00

it has been the 4th day of school...

schools fine... lotsa subjects that i think i will do well this sem... esp japanese !!! man... i freaking love the subject... gonna work hard this sem... polo is gonna set up in nyp soon... so come on !!! join the polo team !!! haha... i love jap... okok... i shall stop the jap thingy... anyway, hope my polo team would be a success... and plus the freshies are coming on monday... hope there are babes... haha...

oh, also why are people so arrgont nowadays... wanna be captain, tell me striaght in the face larhs... dun need to hope that i be the polo team captain and the swim team captain would be someone else... that i doubt... trust me... plus i dun to be captain or the swim team... that way, i can skip trng... and i dun like being the captain of the swim team... take it away since u like it so much... after all i have no say in the captainship... uncle louis has... go look for him...

yawn... okok... so many familier faces in school... oh well... nvm... nites... my mood is gone already... haha... will update again...

schools tomorrow....

2006-04-16T23:02:00.000+08:00

just got back from polo... nice day for me, i think... plus schools starting tommorrow... haha... trainning was kinda fun... got a 100% scoring rate today... i shot 5... so you'll just work that out... kenryu was back... yup... but he'll have to go back to Aust on 1st may... oh well...

had the most wonderful dreams morning i had in ages... lotsa different dreams... maybe because of a crazy day yesterday... but the dreams i had and after waking up for like 6 times between 8am till 12 noon where i actually wake up coz i wanted to sleep late due to schools's starting... one of my dreams i actually dream of shuying spraying water on me... and i was running, as in having fun playing around... then i went oover and... let me just stop here... haha... then another one of my dreams, i was like on a mission or something, with jet skis and guns and the bros out in the sea... haha... dreams are so fun...

now let me tell u what happen on the past 2 days...

friday... went town... ate lunch and then brought movie tickets to watch Take The Lead... but beacuse the movie starts at 7.30 and we have too much time to spare, we end up at lucky plaza playing pool... played and taught regina and alison how to play, along with amadeus... finally watch the movie... and damn... its damn nice... you guys should watch it... it is great !!! i love the part especiallly the tango... haha... okok... i had a thing for tango ever since i watch True Lies... and thats way long back then... love tango... haha... dinner then home...

saturday... thats yesterday... went to the beach at sentosa with xi qing, eve, deus, chun, james.... met samatha and xi qing's sister... haha... played volleyball, look at babes... man... that day was great... the babes there are hot !!! haha.... after that, went home and changed... rush out again... this time, to the airport... haha... yes, crazy !!! oh well, gerard is going oversea to JAPAN !!! damn... i wanted to go, but i kinda reject and regreted not going... haiz... next time then... yes, gerard is in japan now... he'll be back on the 21th of april, thats next friday, i think... haha... remember to bring something back... remember to use rubber... haha... and go find shinkai or halu... hahaha.... now you know why i get those dreams... nono.... ain't wet dreams... haha...

hmm... should i stay single or get a girl ?

right... schools starting tomorrow... and i'm hoping for a good start... the timetable is crap already.... but i shall do my best and carry on... haha... after all its just 3 months... bear and grin with it, tillyson !!! haha... okok... i shall stop here and rest sinces its kinda late... ciao !!! haha.. ;p

beautiful night... maybe

2006-04-13T00:49:00.000+08:00

the sky is filled with stars and a bright moon tonight... is a night that i miss and longed for ages... it is a beautiful night... a goood night to spent it with a girl and not me now drinking beer( half finished, so i'm supposted to finish it) and blogging... haha... oh well.. so be it...

went sentosa today... not really had fun but i guess it was boring... after that walk around and talk at mac at bishan j8... james had made me rethink what i had done... and kept reminding me about my future daughter... but after a hard thought... nope... i ain't doing nothing wrong here... i ain't flirting nor having flings... i'm just socialising with people... fine ! girls... but its just making friends... i love making friends... so don't curse my future daughter, james ! but after that thought, it had lead me to thinking of my own future... my own family... my future childrens... i really must work hard... and btw james... i had made a oath that this 4 years i must and will stay single and study hard that would enable me to get a good job and have a real happy family... however, if i happen to meet that this special girl, this oath will therfore be broken and replaced by another... but this "special girl" must have this "special thing" if not this oath shall not be broken... no maybe, must be ! ;p

read and found afew blogs... found a blog that belongs to my class in MI... oh well... not really but still miss those days... but what can i say... fate brought me there but destiny wants me to be in another... so be it...

also i recently found out that.... some girls, as in people that know me for quite a while... ok, fine... 1, 2 months... and its a girl... actually find that i can't give a sense of security... oh well... maybe...

is she the one ? youth flying club

2006-04-08T23:07:00.000+08:00

man... just return from dinner at koven... food was ok... but whats more... is that i saw this someone...

this someone... which seems so familier and close eventhough i think i never did met her before... i kept stealing glances while i was eating... and ma.. i noticed that i was not the only one stealing glances... haha.. she too was stealing glances at me... and i notice that shes so gracefully... i think shes those sporty type... she had a smile that just brightens my day just like that... also... when she frown, she'll just melt my heart away... and its not that shes hot or anything... but shes just so angel like... its kinda beyond description... and this kind of feeling, not many girls can make me feel that way... up to now... only 2... making this my 3rd time feeling it... man... the moment i walk away from her, i missed her already... i wonder when would i see her again... i wanna see her again... well, i guess i shall leave it to fate... i think, i will see her again... maybe ;p

alot of people have been asking me whats with me and youth flying club on msn becoz of my msn nick... well, i thought, y not i post it here and tell u guys about it... after all, i'm kinda piss with them... you see, they had this newspaper acticle... and its says that poly students can join for free... and i called them and guess what the hell they say, they said that they accept only year 1 students... what the.. oh well.. shan't talk about this... haha...

let me dream about her... ;p

yawn... (Someday We'll Know)

2006-04-06T21:20:00.000+08:00

busy busy busy... haha... well.. not really...

went to cycle yesterday... and it rain... haha... Alison wanted to see planes flying above her... but too bad... went to regina house to eat... then home together with gerard and chun... haha... glad i didn't fall sick today after the cold cycle in the rain... realise how long since i last cook...

today training was 3.5km... kinda slack... i think... haha...

did my Waterpolo proposer today.. and called up the person-in-charge... and damn i need 30 names... freak... and what else ? hmm... i can't think... so.. i shall end here... yawn...

marleen, please update... and kaili... please tell us whos that guy... haha... we want to know...

so now i shall end with a song... its by mandy moore... here it is.. enjoy...

Ninety miles outside Chicargo
I can't stop driving I don't know why
So many questions, I need an answer
Two years later, you're still on my mind

Whatever happened to Amelia Earhart
Who holds the stars up in the sky
Cuz true love is just once in a lifetime
Did the captain of the Titanic cry?

Someday we'll know If love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know why I wasn't meant for you

Does anybody know the way to Atlantits?
What the wind says when she comes
I'm speeding by the place that I met you
For the ninty-seventh time, tonight

Someday we'll know If love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know Why I wasn't meant for you
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Someday we'll know Why Samson loved Delilah
One day I'll go Dancing on the moon
Someday you'll know that I was the one for you

I want to take you to the end of the rainbow
Watch the stars crash in the sea
If I could ask God just one question
Why aren't you here with me, tonight?

Someday we'll know If love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know why I wasn't meant for you
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Someday we'll know Why Samson loved Delilah
One day I'll go Dancing on the moon
Someday you'll know that I was the one for you

update for the week ?

2006-04-02T16:49:00.000+08:00

hmm.. lets see... i'll have a update for the week... and see how boring it goes...

took toa payoh waterpolo trianning on monday... , 7 people came... kinda bored... so went down to shoot... realise i couldn't do my special style anyway... and i got to work on that... my spin shot was there... so its alright... then went for nyp swim team trianning... and i fall sick after that... stayed at home on tues becoz of fever and stuff....

yes !!! brought my new adidas orange running shoes on wednesday... its so damn nice... whoa... good !!! had a fun cycling trip with gerard on thursday... its so good... and crazy.... i still miss the part at changi where the planes flew right above us ... its so great.... i will go there again to see planes... allow me to list the places/road names we went...

-bishan (start) 9.20am
-toa payoh
-potong pasir
-SAJC
-kallang
-indoor stadium
-east coast park (lunch) 11am+
-national sailing center
-changi SAFRA resort
-changi coast road (damn dangrous)
-changi beach
-changi village
-loyang ave
-tampines ave 7
-tampines ave 2
-SAFRA tampines
-bebok reservior road
-kaki bukit
-airport road
-upp paya lebar road
-playfair road
-upper aljunied road
-upper serangoon road
-braddell road
-bishan(end) 5pm

good trip !!! ;p

after that, chun called us to watch movie at cine... so gerard and i went to meet regina and alison and of course chun... watch two movies back to back... well not really... half an hour break in between... first was "ice age 2".... then its was "failure to launch". on the second movie, alison and i are like guessing whats gonna happen next in the show.. haha... fun... maybe ;p but i think its ok to watch... ;p

friday, took trianning for waterpolo again... slack at home on sat, after all i'm still sick and i still am... today, what a day... phew... woke up at 4am to run and try out my new shoes... you know, the orange adidas... brought coffee and went home to bath, and get ready to leave the house at 5.10 for qin ming jie.... went to aunt house to get praying stuff for them and then went to upper aljunied road to pray my grandfather and grandmother... miss my grandfather... after all i can only remember him and not my grandmother because she left before i was out... saw a girl thats not bad... and i think i saw her some where... had moments... haha... green, black... nvm... after that, we left at around 7am... went to toa payoh temple... this time, to pray my great-grandfather and great-grandmother... haha.... had breakfast... left there at 9am... reach home... sleep !!! haha... until now i then woke up to type this... yawn... not going trianning for waterpolo today... gotto still home rest and watch Teresa win the comp !!! haha... okok... shall stop this long entry...

why 7 and not 5 ?

2006-03-28T22:39:00.000+08:00

man... marleen wants me to do this... well i guess i have no choice... heh...

Rules: Express your love for SE7EN and get others to know more about you. Copy and paste the following into your respective blog and complete all SE7EN bullets of the SE7EN questions. Then, pick SE7EN people to pass it on and have fun!(Note: All points named are in random orders)

SE7EN things that make me smile:
1. My spouse
2. Being richer
3. My spouse smiling
4. Family and friends
5. Seeing people smiling
6. Winning something that is worth winning ?
7. Hilarious stuff ?

SE7EN ways to win my heart: ( i thought as a guy its the other way round ? )
1. Be you, youself
2. Tell me that you love me
3. Willing to die for me
4. Like me for me and not something else
5. Able to understand me
6. Making me falling for ya
7. Sporty ?

SE7EN things I believe in:
1. Myself
2. Wishing upon falling stars ?
3. The strength i have ?
4. Determination and hard work do pay off
5. Love at first sight
6. True love ?
7. Pride

SE7EN things I'm afraid of:
1. Diseases
2. Being by myself
3. Being ditch ?
4. Going to hell ?
5. Get killed before i found my love ? (die in that sense... but getting killed sounds better)
6. Get killed before i see my kids grow up ?
7. Can't get a carrer that i love... esp racing and flying...

SE7EN things I do everyday:
1. Brush my teeth
2. Keep myself clean and fresh
3. Wash my face
4. Eat
5. Sleep
6. Talk
7. Thinking of stupid things

SE7EN people I want to see right now:
1. My spouse
2. My kids (i think its a bunch but i shall refer them as 1, haha...)
3. Rachel stevens
4. Tom curise
5. Jennifer Love Hewitt, Eva Longoria
6. Myself in 50 years later
7. Hot babes (thats another bunch of people..)

SE7EN people who should also do this:
1. Shu ying
2. Kaili
3. Stella
4. Yu chi
5. Teng ming
6. someone who like me ? hee...
7. Anyone who would like to do this...

alright... thats all done out... ok marleen, i done my jpb.. would upload those pics soon... ;p

nyp swim team...

2006-03-25T00:38:00.000+08:00

can't freaking nyp swim team pple make up their bloodly mind ? uncle louis says that i'm the captain and then the fucking seniors says that they haven't choosen the captain yet... like i so freaking wants that postion... without that postion i can skip trainning without a care... now i can't... so am i the freaking captain or not ? make up your freaking mind... 1 year ago, uncle andy wants me to be the captain and kick the last captian... so by right i am suppost to be the captain a year ago... and lucky they did something... if not i'm the captain for 1 year already... not that i care for it... but then there is work to be done and if this is not clear, then whats the point of me giving orders... no freaking point... so what the fuck do u guys want from me ? i dun wan to be ccaptin of the freaking lousy swim team and i rather be a small fry in the swim team... i rather be the captain of the polo team... fuck man... fuck nyp swim team... if not for uncle andy and louis, i won't even be inside... i'll be at some other clubs... better still, no club in school... dun think the swim team is great... i ain't reeally proud to be in it... i'm just giving my best to the 2 coaches.... so please fraking make up your mind... and if better, i dun wan to be captain... let me be small fry....

PS: gerard, this is the thing that i am piss off....

Top Gun... i got japanese !!!

2006-03-24T01:35:00.000+08:00

i know its pretty late at night.... but i just watched a show that made Tom Curise famous... yeah... its Top Gun... and i finally understood why that movie had made him famous... its so damn freaking nice, not really exciting... but its worth to watch... damn good... i'm gonna watch it again... kinda inspired me to do alot of things... things that i'm always too lazy to do... also, after this movie, it had given me a "you made a good choice" on my top 10 job list which flying is the 4th and 5th... kinda back me up for going for my goals... the need for speed... ahaha... maybe....

just check on my subjects that i'm taking next sem... yes, i know i check it a couple of times... and i think i got my first choice... i think.... well... its japanese... haha... i don't mind... wait, infact this is great... ah huang is coming back from japan soon... and she can guide me... ahaha... also, i'm in to jap cartoons... haha... and a few japanese dramas show like Good Luck and Pride... looks like the jap is gonna be of good use... haha.... okok... its late... i shall read my DA VINCA CODE before i turn in for the night... nights... no... morning !!! ;p

miss ya...

2006-03-13T22:00:00.000+08:00

i won't be blogging for a short time period... haha.... going malaysia to play... will update more of this after i come back...

went for NYP swim team trainning today... Louis take... gah... cannot take it man... 2.6 km and i die already... oh man... in polo trainning we do more... what is this man... and the moment i reach there i had this stupid news.... i'm the captain of the team... gah... somebody kill me... i rather be a captain of a polo team then a swim team... gah.... never mind... haha.... okok... the rest we'll talk when i come back...

Life goals ?

2006-03-10T19:27:00.000+08:00

sorry for not posting and updating... haha... i know its kinda long since i post... but i had been thinking about different stuff recently.... thinking of loads of stuff about what am i going do with my life... i've been seaching for that one spark to lighten up my life and find that one goal that i aim to achieve... but i think my thoughts aren't clear yet... but still, i'll give a update of what i've been thinking for the past few days...

Careers... thats one important thing i learn to think about recently... i was wondering what kind of jobs that i would like to end up and if that job could make me happy and enable me to support my family and if that job could land me a car or house or be rich in that sense... gah... i even put in my dreams in it as well... my dream job that i won't ever regret doing it... oh yar.. went for a navy talk with gerard today and found out a couple of new things to... but my list of top 10 jobs that i wanna do... i guess... are more like dreams thats hard to achieve... notice how my top 3 is all got to do with racing ?

1- F1 Race Driver
2- F3 Race Driver
3- Rally Race Driver
4- Fighter Pilot (air force in that sense)
5- Commercial Pilot
6- Establish and Run a MNC(what products i haven't thought of yet)
7- Establish and Run a Racing School with a enterainment center that offer sports that are rare in singapore
8- Establish and Run a Car Business (could be repair or selling)
9- Officer
10-Combat Specialist (army that is)

thats the top 10 careers prospective that i don't mind doing... however i do thought of other personal stuff too... like what about my waterpolo and will i ever get a girl of my dreams and so on... i realise something and i finally can prove that its right... and that is I LIKE SMART GIRLS AND I CANNOT LIE... haha... its true... not really that smart of a girl that is smarter than me in terms of study and other factors... with a maybe of one outlier that i expected to be smarter than me but is not... not that i'm imply something... but i realise it over wondering my past "records"... i too realise that be it in whatever i did... i didn't really did it with pride or effort but perhaps i only have pride with things that i had... if you understand what i mean... oh well... maybe

lousiest day of my life... freaking piss...

2006-02-26T22:20:00.000+08:00

arh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i freaking piss... freak freaking piss !!! not at anyone.... but myself... arhhhhhhhhh.......

my physcial is so lousy... no more stamina... no more skills... lost all of my polo skills... i so freaking lousy that i can miss a 1-on-1 with the keeper at the range of 1 meter and the keeper is a non-keeper(meaning a player but play keeper for fun...) , passing is like crap, shooting is like a 8 year old kid playing.... what the fuck am i doing ? mr tillyson lee wei jin, you're freaking suppost to be in the national youth team !!! and u play such standards ? so what if u never trian for months ? who ask u to be lazy ? who the fuck can u blame but yourself ? go and fucking wake up your freaking idea !!!

had the whole day at the pool.... slept at 3am and woke up at 7am to go toa payoh to play for open-league for toa payoh... meaning playing with the nat team... well... not all but some... like macus and nick(old captain for nat team), well we end up 3rd.... suppost to end up1st or 2nd... but we had a few mistakes and well... that cost us our postion... then slack around and saw the synchronize swimming... kinda nice... follow up by diving... with amy and emily diving and issac and us end up sitting 1 side acting as judges and giving scores... that was follow up by the freaking screw up games that i played... arh... i'm freaking piss at myself !!!! somebody kill me !!

MARLEEN ROCKS :D

2006-02-25T11:55:00.000+08:00

HELLO, MARLEEN HERE. Duh, see the heading? Tillyson can't possibly write that yea, hahaha. I'm just so proud of myself for making this new layout and I think its nice lah. And Marj, its MORE colourful now. WAHAHAHA

Ps: Tillyson, you can delete this oh-so-lame post as you wish :)

Armageddon (I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing)

2006-02-23T23:26:00.000+08:00

wow... just watch Armageddon... not that i never watch it before... but its still nice after watching it... a guy willing to die for the happyness of his daughter... i respect that... hmm... just wondering if i might do the same... i guess i would... maybe... but will i even get a wife ? lets go that first before kids... haha... but still, i think i'm willing to do anything for my wife, daughter and son... but maybe not that much for my son... coz i'm kinda protective over girls... haha... and plus... i believe that a guy must be strong *not in terms of muscles*, and must be able to do things... so maybe i might make my son to be kinda independent... after all, hes gonna protect and feed his own family one day... haha... ;p

ha... that poor girl is still sick... man... how long is it already ? hmm 5 days... its gonna be a week soon... well.. get well soon babe... i wanna see you swim soon... ;p

well... this song kinda moves me... lyrics are meaningful too... man... hes brave...

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
Far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Well, every moment spent with you
Is a moment I treasure

(Chorus)
I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing

Lying close to you
Feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together
And I just wanna stay with you
In this moment forever, forever and ever

(Chorus)

(Bridge)
I don't wanna miss one smile
I don't wanna miss one kiss
Well, I just wanna be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just wanna hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time

(Chorus 3 times)
Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep, yeah I don't wanna miss a thing

Poor Beautiful Night Stars...

2006-02-22T01:37:00.000+08:00

its such a beautiful night sky... clear sky with lotsa stars to see tonight... seen it when i was walking out to meet gerard to play pool with the others... also at the time when i was walking home... miss the feeling of wind in the face with a clear sky with extremely lotas of stars... man... i miss that... guess it would be better if theres somone enjoying it with me... ah..... ;p

accounts exam today ! guess i think i'm gonna score for this.. haha... first time i was confidence with my accounts... haha... thats 3 down, 1 more to go... and thats stats... man.. i pray i freaking pass stats... damn worry about it... and its on thursday... 8.30am ! man... i'm gonna die... i dun wann retake this sub...

shu ying is sick... haha.. poor gal... down with headache, fever and cough i think... just after the acjc fun-o-rama thingy and shes down with sickness... man... actually its kinda good... let her rest after 3 weeks of crazy nights... *she'll know what i'm talking about...* haha... take good care girl... i know i've been saying this for lotsa times but drink more water and rest more... u need it... and u kinda earn it in a way... ;p

its 1.44am... guess i better sleep... and study stats later... yawn...

happpy sniff valentine's day (This I Promise You)

2006-02-14T19:25:00.000+08:00

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to all... be it if you are attached or single... happy valentine's day... to those attached... hope u guys will have a ever-lasting realtionship... and to those who are single... damn... go quicky get a partner soon... haha... sweet sweet on the telephone with someone else man...

haha... i was at home the whole day studying... well, kinda... couldn't set my mind down after finishing management... haha... oh well... okok... i know... i'm supposted to go out with sum gal and stuff coz it's after all valentine's day... haha... guess, i've change... haha... nope, no date at all... dun ask why i didn't ask sumone out... even if i did... i doubt she'll go or i'll go..
haha... so be it... ;p

shan't spoil the mood... guess this is the song is the best song i can think of for today... here it is... from N'sync... This I Promise You... take it away... ;p

When the visions around you, bring tears to your eyes
And all that surround you, are secrets and lies
I'll be your strength, I'll give you hope,
Keeping your faith when it's gone
The one you should call, was standing here all along...

And I will take, You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you This I promise you

I've loved you forever, In lifetimes before
And I promise you never... Will you hurt anymore
I give you my word, I give you my heart (give you my heart)
This is a battle we've won And with this vow,
Forever has now begun...

Just close your eyes (close your eyes)
Each loving day (each loving day)
I know this feeling won't go away (no..)
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you... This I promise you..

Over and over I fall (over and over I fall)
When I hear you call, Without you in my life baby
I just wouldn't be living at all...

And I will take (I will take you in my arms)
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong (right where you belong)
Till the day my life is through, This I promise you baby
Just close your eyes Each loving day (each loving day)
I know this feeling won't go away (no..)
Every word I say is true, This I promise you
Every word I say is true, This I promise you
Ooh, I promise you... ;p

Unfair World

2006-02-10T23:39:00.000+08:00

Unfair world... i think this word lots of people would have agree with me... some work hard but can't get anything... some others work a little and get repaid fast... some might be good at things but was not seen by others and was in the end branded "bad". others could look like they are good at things but actually are not... some yean for that special something but could get it... others could just get it with ease.... lifes never fair... y ? thats a good question to ask....

today... the results of Os are out... anyway... wish those who work hard get what they wanted... be it jc or poly... and before hand wish those who are single, get a gal fast and those who are attached... happy V-times day... and as for me... i guess i'll be homey and stay at home and study... haha... guess i might be single for this year... well... that ain't too bad... i guess... its gonna be fun... maybe

exams are like next friday... oh man... i hope i can make it to the grade...
i would be studying soon... but if u guys wanna contact me... fell free to call... haha...
kk... its late... rest time...

chinese new year...

2006-02-02T00:13:00.000+08:00

haha... finally theres time for me to blog... coz every time chinese new year, its very busy... visiting and everything... and we get to eat everyday at different uncles or aunts hse... everyday different hse until the 7th day or chinese new year at a restruant then thats kinda it... haha... good food for 8 days inculde the eve of CNY... gonna get fat man... real fat... gotto work it out... if not , nobody like... haha... toking abt that... i just realise that i'm spending the CNY being single the 2nd time after my last gf... haha... miss the days... oh well... i guess i'll be single for another year... i think thats kinda good... "trying to bluff myself".... haha...

met a gal on friendster... wait its she who came looking for me... not the other way round... its the truth... haha... well... she said shes interested in polo... haha... i'll be willing to teach her and help her get to the womens team if shes that interested... haha... and i'm wondering when i'm gonna quit polo... louis is leaving... and i don't noe whos the club new coach... so right now i kinda dun have any team... issac say that wait till SA is settle and join SA... and play for SAJC and so on... well... maybe... haha...

no sch for a week... haha... thats means next monday then theres sch.. haha... 2 days of sch cancel by the lectuers and friday even if theres 1 hr of sch..., i call it self declare holiday... haha...
can't luff that much coz mon theres 2 projects due and next thursday theres another project... 1 week after that would be exams... haha... wat fun it is gonna be... yeah right ! oh well after that its the holidays... just got to bear and grin and get over with it... ;p maybe...

long blog...

2006-01-25T18:04:00.000+08:00

haha... its been so long since i blog huh ? well chinese new year is around... in fact its this sunday... kinda hate this year's chinese new year, coz it will meant that exams are coming... arhh... kill me...

man... i still have 3 projects on hand... so sucky... hate it man... and i have a test tml...

hmmm.....

i think i better do my work...

later...

wanna post...

2006-01-22T23:12:00.000+08:00

hey hey... sorry... i will update soon... so much to tell... but no time.. esp my dream today... oh well... will update by CNY... i promise...

friday the 13...

2006-01-13T21:10:00.000+08:00

man.. i love today... friday the 13th... ain't unlucky.. kinda lucky for me i think... well.. maybe... just realise why i can't see my blog entry wedsite where i write this crap because its in chinese and i had to install the language pack to read... haha...

got the bad news last tues... david lee... haiz... for wat... jump down... haiz... we shall not talk about the bad stuff in my blog but Mr. David Lee... even i don't really like you but after all u taught me and i respect u in a sense... well... if u get what i mean....

now to some intresting stuff... went cycling today with gerard... haha... kinda explore how the hack do we get to east coast park... and we did it.. believe it or not, we cycled from bishan to east coast Mac... WOW... haha.... past by alot of beautiful places and girls... saw a gal while cycling, man... she looks like cherly... the 1 i asked number at new year's day this year... oh well... the trip was kinda long... found short cut though... so i guess its ok then... 1 and a half hour back to home from east coast's Mac... not bad after all... haha...

yesterday i brought shoes... yes.. finally, new shoes to go out... but i'll wear at chinese new year... not now.. i guess i just have to wait...

its been a week... and i'm still thinking about that KCP girl... hmm... let me relate the story... it was after polo trng at toa payoh on friday the 6... when home after that... then i got this KCP girl who aboard bus 88.... and before that i was telling my junior that there was a chio bu... hot... and when she cam eup, she was looking at me, us... so i smiled at her... before i left the bus, my junior ask me a question and i turned to answer... at the coner of my eyes i could see her looking at me... not that i thick-skinned but its the truth... when i left the bus, i look up to look at her... guess what ? she was looking down... man.. i still think shes hot... i want to look for her... maybe shes the one... MAYBE... but if the one really come out and i hope is soon... please wake me up... i really need u... my guardian angel... i need help and guardance... i need someone to hug... please tell me and wake me up... hint me or tell me striaght in the face... i need it... :(

schools a mess in my head now... project after project afte project.... now i think theres 3 projects on hand... and not forgetting test and stuff... got to really sit down and study... how ? haiz... IVP is tml... and i have no interest in it... wat am i going to do ? i have to swim... i guess i just give my best and thats it... after all i'm gonna lose... who cares... not me... well... okie... maybe i'll just swim for my coach...

13 days into 2006... and i think its gonna be a good year... well, i hope... MAYBE...

its nearly a week...

2006-01-05T18:16:00.000+08:00

its nearly a week of 2006 now... i guess... this year, could be my year... i have a few lucky goings from the start of the year... first, a girl's number... and so on... so much lucky stuff... and its only the first week... well... hope the rest of the year goes well too...

this is going to be a hard 2 months for me... projects kept coming in, tests, and even a week after chinese new year, its the exam... arh... somebody take my place of the time being can ? IVP coming sson too... next week i think... arh... coach wants me to swim... but i dun wan... for wat... not that i like NYP that much... okie... fine... the school is fine.. just that the swim team is like... a bit... cannot make it... a bit... and holidays are burning... be it new year day, hari raya, i got to go down to the pool for comp against the girls... not that its bad but.. aren't holiday meant to enjoy and rest ? oh well... they need help... but they can't even catch up the score with us, then how do they going for commonwealth ? fuck... shit... not suppost to say that...

kinda late but heres my 3 new year resolutions :

#1- cut down the cursing and swearing... (better if don't scold at all)
#2-TRY to go for more trainnings... after all i'm suppost to be in the youth team... (the keyword is TRY)
#3- the same every year, be happy... (happier if theres a girl with me ;p)

there you go... ;p yawn... i'll get some rest first..

i suck

2005-12-31T12:38:00.000+08:00

yawn... just woke up not too long after last night... man... that funtion was sooooo sucky... nvm that... HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL....

i just realise something real bad... something that i regreted doing after those years... well that person still had a feel for me... and i kept ingoring until today, that person is angry with me and kinda piss off with me... i know that that person is trying to piss me off using someone else... and i felt jeslous and at the same time happy for that person... its was then that i realise, all along, i had fallen for that person... but because of polo during that time when to me, polo is 1, girl is 2, i gave up on that person... but that person didn't... well maybe only recently... i have no idea when that person stop... or maybe that person hasn't yet... dunnoe... all i know is, i suck, i am an asshole... and i really wants to be with that person, but its kinda never gonna make it... i don't even know how that person feels... oh well... i'm a fool... and even if i don't wish to be... i am still one... a fool... maybe wishing that person all the best and stuff is better... at least that person doesn't had to go on with a fool... maybe... sorry to that person... if you're reading this and you know who you are... maybe...

New year's eve... i shall make some 2006 thigy...

1st and only: happy... ;p

i'm back...

2005-12-20T20:56:00.000+08:00

sorry guys... for the long absent... was very busy with projects and tests... so sorry... i'll be freaking busy for another 2 months, but i try and keep this alive... wait.. u guys are already keeping it alive... so anyway.. thanks... ;p

went Chinablack yesterday... with chun and gerard... man.. it was fun... saw my ideal wife... freaking hot man... wanna make her my wife... well... maybe... haha... blood and mouth almost went dry ! (was drooling and massive nose bleed !!!) okie okie... i shall not talk abt that any more.. ;p

hmm... christmas is coming... and i wish all a happy... wait.. its merry... merry christmas... hope u guys get your presents and stuff... for me... my wish... hmm... just 1 wish this year...

Santa can u hear me ? i've been good this year... and all i want is just 1 thing, just for me, underneath my christmas tree... i want a girl who love me more than anything... and i wan to spend my every christmas with her... Santa, thats my only wish this year...

this song is by britney spears... My Only wish... enjoy...

Last night I took a walk in the snow.
Couples holding hands, places to go
Seems like everyone but me is in love.

Santa can you hear me
I signed my letter that I sealed with a kissI sent it off
It just said this
I know exactly what I want this year.
Santa can you hear me.
I want my baby (baby, yeah)
I want someone to love me someone to hold me.
Maybe (maybe, maybe maybe.) he'll be all I hope in a big red bow

Santa can you hear me?
I have been so good this year and all I want is one thing
Tell me my true love is here
He's all I want, just for me underneath my christmas tree
I'll be waiting here.
Santa thats my only wish this year.
oohhh ohh yeah
Christmas Eve I just can't sleep
Would I be wrong for taking a peek?
Cause I heard that your coming to town

Santa can you hear me? (yea yeah)
Really hope that your on your way
With something special for me in your sleigh
Ohh please make my wish come true
Santa can you hear me
I want my baby (baby)
I want someone to love me someone to hold me
Maybe (maybe maybe) theyll be all the love under the mistletoe

Santa can you hear me
I have been so good this year
And all I want is one thing
Tell me my true love is here
He's all I wabt just for me
Underneath my christmas tree
I'll be waiting here santa thats my only wish this year
I hope my letter reaches you in time
Bring me love can call all mine
(yeah yeah) cause I have been so good this year.

Can't be long under the mistletoe
He's all want and a big red bow
Santa can you hear me (hear me?)
I have been so good this year
And all i want is one thing
Tell me my true love is near
He's all I want. just for me
Underneath my christmas tree
I'll be waiting here
(ohh yeah) santa thats my only wish this year
Oh santa can u hear me? oh santa
Well hes all I want just for me underneath my Christmas tree
Oh I'll be waiting here
Santa thats my only wish this year.

too late...

2005-11-14T22:24:00.000+08:00

i know... i know... i've been "lazy" and had not blog for a long long time... so here i am bloging... so dun nag anymore...

schools sux... projects are all comming in... and i hate projects... i know... but.. so wat... projects just sux...

just came back from swim team trng... so i'm dead beat... be thankful that i can blog... had been taking NYP monday trng for two weeks now... so boring... well... at least today theres something that i dun mind going... JAZREEN is having IVP at my sch... and i got to see her... haha.. and i saw her... shes so hot... even if they says that she no longer is... but to me... shes damn hot and cute... wow... i'm sweating....

polo trng was alright... thrashed ngee ann poly... haha... losuy assholes... so happy... any the juniors... thay sux man... lose to all the teams at this stage... all with like 1 goal to sumthing... until that 1 match that i came down and louis ask me to coach them... then they almost win... score was like 4-5... RI score the last second... lucky shot some more... oh well... a win is a win... can't do anything about it.. and after that... 1 goal for us... haiz... nvm... now i found something that i look forward to when i go for polo trng... haha... nope... not chanal nor jia ying... but qiu rong... dun ask anything... all i can tell u is there are SAJC gals... thats all... ;p

now i'm chatting with shu ying... its been a long time since i chat with her... 1 day i gotta ask her out... nope... not for a date... but just kinda catching out on each other... dun think otherwise... its not gonna happen... she got a guy she likes... ans i think that goes the same for jazreen too... oh well... so be it... i'll be a loner in love... sounds wrong... but i like that...

loner in love here... nope... 2 Ms not back yet... marleen... go and find out wat cures it... but i think right now... gerard is the one and only person who knows it... thanks DR. Koh... but i need a cure... not the cause... ;p

i'm not tillyson

2005-10-18T21:59:00.000+08:00

haiz.... i dun have the 2 Ms* to do anymore thing... i'm now going into depression... its kinda incureable... only 1 thing can cure it... if you know... call me or msg me.. cure me please.... i need you...

*(mentality, motivation)

birthday wish...

2005-10-12T00:33:00.000+08:00

now its late and i'm up blogging... haha...

happy birthday sharon.... yaya... i didn't forgot your birthday.... i did... i got your.... ermm... present ? haha.... oh well... happy birthday galz...

birthday tml... time to make my 3 bithday wishes.... first time in my life my wishes is known to people... good huh ? ;p here goes....

1st wish : everyone around me stay happy and healthy always....
2nd wish : hope everything in my life would go smoothly and may i have money.. lots of it... hee..

last but not the least.... and 1 wish that i really hope it could come true...

3rd wish : wish that i would heve the "one" really soon... (galz out there... know what to do ? haha... )

okie.. done... 3 wishes... tired now... would update tml... maybe....

long time...

2005-10-10T22:53:00.000+08:00

haha... its been a long time since i update... so here am i am...

skip NYP trng again... haha... guess i was lazy... haha... went to swim with nikki and family instead... oh well... man.. i need to trng... but i'm just to lazy... ahaha...

skip sunday polo trng... haha... coz i dun wanna skinny-dip... haha.. yar... when someone's birthday nears... on sunday... it would be naked swimming in the pool... so... haha.... went to watch THE MYTH... haha... not bad... that show...

went out with chun, michelle( sl junior), gerard and james... went to play pool... man... michelle pool is good... real good... but i still prefer snooker... haha... big and fun... dun think dirty... haha... i guess i am... oh well... overall... thanks to james.... house cues won the own cues... ahaha... inside joke...

friday was mom's birthday... wat happen... hmmm... i can't remember... only can remember my uncle brought a mp4 and wans me to help download music into it... hmmm....

*note to self:
forget her....

this song is by LFO... girl... your my girl on tv... ;p

Oooh Yeah I'm wishing on a falling
Star wondering where you are
I wish.

Chorus 1:
Wish for you on a falling star,Wondering where you are
Do I ever cross your mind,In the warm sunshine
She's from, the city of angels,
Like Bette Davis, James Dean and Gable
Never know what she means to me I fell for the girl that's on TV.

Met her at a counter affair,
she wore a green dress & every body was there
Felt out of place till she looked into my eyes, shook her hand around 9 p.m.
And I'm never gonna be the same again,never had to be on a movie screen
To be the leading lady in all my dreams.

Chorus 2:
Shooby doo-wap & Scooby snacks,
Met a fly girl and I can't relax, the only problem is she's a movie star,
Oh, oh,
My friends they won't believe me, If they could only see me
At the risk of sounding cheesy, think I fell for the girl on TV.

Everybody knows her name wanna take a picture and their glad she came
But I just want to be there when she's down down (Be there when she's down)
I don't want her autograph I just want to call her up and make her laugh
Never had to be on a movie screen to be the leading lady in all my dreams

Repeat Chorus 2:
Repeat Chorus 1:

(I wish for you on a falling star)
I'm wishing on a star
And I'm wondering where you are
(Wondering where you are)
Do I cross your mind in the warm sunshine.

(Rap)
So I wish for you on a bright shining star every where I look there you are
Its the girl in the green dress she took my breath away
And now I look to the sky for a better day
Shooby do-wop and Scooby snacks I met a fly girl and I can't relax
Never had to be on a movie screen cuz she's the leading lady in all my dreams come on

Repeat Chorus 1 (Two times)

I'm wishing, I'm wishing away.

long long time... (25 minutes)

2005-10-04T21:17:00.000+08:00

haha... its been kinda long since i las blog... i think i was kinda lazy... haha... oh well... u can't say i'm lazy now that i'm blogging...

anyway... lets see wat i can recall over the week... hmm... lets start on thursday.. went cycling with chun and gerard... we started from bishan park at 7.05am and wemt to BPS... then we went to upper peirce reservior... we ate a heavy breakfast over there... we kinda explore a few places here and there... and after that we went to thomson to have a little fun... haha.. lan gaming... well for an hour... then we went back... on the way back.. chun had a back fall... well... hes ok now... so don't worry... and luckily its near our destination... so its not too bad after all... haha... after wishing up i give kah leong tution... and think thats all...

friday now... hmmm.... friday... tution for kah leong again... and we went town... shop for a little while for his stuff, then i'm off to a wedding dinner... a relative of mine... oh well... its kinda like a wedding for snow white and 1 of the... you know wat i mean... oh well... beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder... so i guess i can't say much...

sat... couldn't remember....

sunday... trainning... haha... yar... waterpolo... kinda fun... was louis birthday celebration also... coz his birthday was on 1 oct... children's day... haha... slacking like mad during trainning... match was fun... but our team still couldn't be without ray and kah leong... haha... we used to be the DT of toa payoh U-16... the 7 of us, namely... issac, ray, kah leong, kenryu (goalkeeper) ivan, beyond(can't spell) and me... haha... oh well.. those are the days... winning U-16, U-14... beating combined school team... haha... miss those days...

yesterday... was slacking too... well went out in the end to play pool with chun and james... i still don't like pool... give me snooker any day man... oh yar... little nikki come over and make a mass of the whole house... chelsea won liverpool 4-1 !!!

today, i was suppost to go gym... but i couldn't wake up... haha... lazy me... end up playing MS the whole day... yawn... such a long blog... haha... to make up for the past few days... i think its okie...

*note to me...
oh yar... just watch Pride... realise something... guess i lost that feeling... thats well i lost of much in other stuff... i've lost the pride of a player... u know what i mean... maybe...

this song is by MLTR... 25mins...

After some time I've finally made up my mind
she is the girl and I really want to make her mine
I'm searching everywhere to find her again
to tell her I love her
and I'm sorry 'bout the things I've done

I find her standing in front of the church
the only place in town where I didn't search
She looks so happy in her wedding dress
but she's crying while she's saying this

Chorus:
Boy I've missed your kisses all the time but this is
twenty five minutes too late
Though you travelled so far
boy I'm sorry your are
twenty five minutes too late

Against the wind I'm going home again
wishing me back to the time when we were more than friends
But still I see her in front of the church
the only place in town where I didn't search
She looked so happy in her wedding dress
but she cried while she was saying this

Chorus

Out in the streets
places where hungry hearts have nothing to eat
inside my headstill I can hear the words she said

Chorus

I can still hear her say.......

fuck off.... shattered... yes... its empty...

2005-09-29T22:30:00.000+08:00

if you were mine... i be your everything... and you be the only thing... that i would every need... if you were mine... i would tell everyone that you are the only one... that i could ever want... let me be the one who hold your hopes and dreams... but... i'll never be with you...

i'm tired after a long day... would blog maybe tml or sat...

sniff sniff...(fly away)

2005-09-27T20:42:00.000+08:00

yawn... was working just now... in the morning... from 7.30am to 2pm... as life guard at downtown east... got a couple of babes today... but i'm not drooling... coz i found some peace at my heart knowing that i might be with a girl that i love 1 day... but its kinda demoralizing... looking at couples there... they were hugging and kissing... making me so envious all over... oh well... that day will come... wait on !!! haha... went back to BPS after work... went to get prelim exam papers... dun ask y... heee... nope i'm not retaking even if i got a stupid B3... saw lots of familiar faces... yes... u too, marleen... ahaha...

yesterday was not too bad at all... as in NYP swim trng... we did like 1.8km not adding the warm-up... damn slack right ? very !!! lucky man... and very surprising to... imagine Louis taking trng and thats all u do... WOW !!!! haha... and he is asking me to set up polo team !!! yes !!! finally !!! i will !!! haha... but if there is a polo team... then i got to be like halu in Pride... trng double hard and self trng and everything... first goal... win NP !!!

oh yar... hey miss... theres me.. remember ?

anyway.. this is a new song by nelly... one hack of a long lyrics... but enjoy...

[Nelly Talking]
Free City
This is a shout out to every young brother ya know
Thats doin his thing right now
Keep ya head up...
He's walkin the yard wishin he had wings
Ya know so he could fly up out that joint
Man

[Intro]
If I could, fly away
Ooo and I wouldn't come back no more
I, I'd turn around,Just to see you for the last time,
See, now I know
Hey, that it won't be easyI done fought in a battle, and I done made it this far
I gotta few more feet, but its still the longest yard

[Verse 1]
Man, it's the longest yard I ever had to get in my life
And see my life ain't right, if my wife don't write
My niggas cant eat if the fish don't bite
My raise the gross sales, like Mike and Ike
Now big brother almighty
I keep a gamma ray, i'ma G-5 G
Take a G-5 jeep, G-5 deep
Too some of their bare feet
And that jeep don't speak
Listen mayne they lock it down round herre
See body bag and gag and your found round herre
This as serious as it sound round herre
The guards guard the ground, 4 pounds round herre
And they ain't playin, they're just lettin you know
That anything they want to happen, nigga happen real slow
Get the word from upstairs, put you in that hole
I cant take it, I'm just ready to go

[Chorus]
If I could, fly awayOoo and
I wouldn't come back no moreI, I'd turn around,
Just to see you for the last time,See, now I know
Hey, that it won't be easyI done fought in a battle, and
I done made it this farI gotta few more feet, but its still the longest yard
Yeah yeah, its still the longest yard
Uh uh, its still the longest yard
Um um, its still the longest yard
I done fought in a battle and I done made it this far

[Verse 3]
(Oohh no) I gotta make it out this place some how
(Oohh no) Man I really believe that I done turned it around
(Oohh no) You see, all I need is that second chance to show,since I crossed the ration, my obligation of rehabilitation
(Oohh no) They can punch me high, and they can kick me low
(Oohh no) But I mean its gonna take more than that for them to break my soul
(Oohh no) Man its hard for people to understand what its like to be,gated, incarcerated , I just cant take it, but I'ma make it man to see better days

[Chorus]

[Hook]
If I could fly away,
If I could I turn around,
If I could fly away

nobody knows it... ( that's why you go away )

2005-09-25T21:57:00.000+08:00

just came back from trainning... haha... got a "driver" to send me.. not telling who she is... haha... but yar.. shes a new driver and got a new car.. so i'm kinda lucky to sit in her car... trainning was not too bad... but i really need my fitness back... haha... i think i was covering for the team most of the time... i guess i'm doing what i guess i'm best at.. defence... ahaha... but at least i score a couple... so its all worth it... arhz... coome to think about it... tml i got swim team trainning and its by louis... oh man.. i'm so dead.. but i still look forward to it... haha...

yesterday was at ed's hse... celebrating his birthday... kinda boring but we end up playing cards instead... and they were reading my blog... hahaha... oh well, they found a couple of stuff that thay didn't know... but thats good i guess... went home and i found myself drinking in front of the com like the day before... but playing games this time... and i was telling deus that i'm gonna quit drinking, gambling and maybe girls... if you know what i mean...

anyway... i was kinda moody for the past few weeks... thinking of stuff i shouldn't think of now... making quite alot of people sad... but yar... sorry... i was playing damn rough at polo even with the girls... just say i'm not the person that i'm used to be... well i hope i can get out of this "nightmare" soon enough... but i doubt so... oh well maybe... this song is by MLTR... enjoy...

Baby won't you tell me why there is sadness in your eyes
I don't wanna say goodbye to you
Love is one big illusion I should try to forget
but there is something left in my head

You're the one who set it up now you're the one to make it stop
I'm the one who's feeling lost right now
Now you want me to forget every little thing you said
but there is something left in my head

Chorus:
I won't forget the way you're kissing
The feeling's so strong were lasting for so long
But I'm not the man your heart is missing
That's why you go away I know

You were never satisfied no matter how I tried
Now you wanna say goodbye to me
Love is one big illusion I should try to forget
but there is something left in my head

Chorus:
I won't forget the way you're kissing
The feeling's so strong...

Sitting here all alone in the middle of nowhere
Don't know which way to go
There ain't so much to say now between us
There ain't so much for you
There ain't so much for me anymore

Chorus
I won't forget the way you're kissing
The feeling's so strong...

missing

2005-09-24T00:44:00.000+08:00

this is a special entry....

went to play pool just now... saw a girl of what i wanted... a girl who wear shoes... na... not that i like them to wear shoes... i just want them to feel comfortable with me... and i rather them to wear shoes than to wear heels and have their feet hurts... unless its a function... to me... its not really important... as long as they dress properly... shoes would be better... feets won't hurt... ha... i'm really crazy... but yar... i was daydreaming the whole day... of this special someone... wondering when shes appearing... i need her real bad...

i had a special quote, i call it... its by tillyson... he used to say this to alot of people and they believe him... not that he make it up and dun believe it.. in fact.. he believe it more than anyone else... but now he had lost the confidence in it... tillyson's theory... he called it... and he has lots of theories... trust me... you don't wanna hear them all... here it is...

tillyson's theory on Love ?

theory of "don't give up waiting" :

there is this one person in the world seaching for you... you should not give up and should go on waiting and seaching for this one special person... one day that person will appear and you will you know it... together... happniness will come to you... this person is your life time partner...

theory of "being hurt/sad" :

when together, the other person hurts you or made you sad isn't worth your love unless what the person did was not deliberately and not meant to... the person who truly loves you, won't hurt you and if that person was force to, would rather hurt him/herself than you...

Invisible man

2005-09-23T16:26:00.000+08:00

yawn... friday afternoon and i am at home blogging again... i wanna go out... sniff... oh well...

yesterday i went out with gerard and amadeus... went to town to watch movie... what did we watch ? wait... let me think... oh... i remember... its The grimm brothers... not bad... that movie... kinda nice... with all the fairytales and everything... haha... was worth watching... met keith before the movie... man... he got dressing problems.... haha... what he wore might not even be what i wore at home... haha... yar... that bad... saw lots of girls but... none of them are worth looking at... okie... maybe... brought a game too... haha... its worth it... very... 19.90 and i got 3 games even if 2 of them are demo games... ahaha.... but the game that i "really" brought was really worth the cash... its very fun... i can't stop... until now... haha... oh well...

kenryu is back in singapore again... haha... miss u dude... nope... i'm not gay... its just that hes really a very good goalkeeper and teammate... hes good... we won lots of games with him around and saving goals and everything... ahaha... now... our goalie ? haha... unless its the senior guys like randall... if not... cannot make it...

i really need to work out... i've been too lazy... now i've become weak... haha... weak... anyway... J your wound will heal... and if u need me... i'll be here 24/7... 365 days a year... and if u don't need me... i don't mind being the invisible man... juz a call and i'll be there... don't worry... this i promise you... and don't go overboard on the diet... u're just nice at the way u are now... ;p

oh yar... before i end this blog with the lyrics... i think i'm gonna have a phase that i'm gonna use very often... and thats... "maybe".... ;p

You can hardly wait to tell all your friends
How his kisses taste sweet like wine
And how he always makes your heart skip a beat
Everytime he walks by

And if your feelin down
He'll pick you up
He'll hold you close when your makin love
He's everything you've been dreamin of
Oh baby

Chorus:
I wish you'd look at me that way
Your beautiful eyes lookin deep into mine
Tellin me more
Than any words could say
But you don't even know I'm alive
Baby to you all I am
Is the invisible man

You don't see me baby
You probly spend hours on the phone
Talkin bout nothin at all
It doesn't matter what the conversation
Just as long as he calls

Lost in a love so real
And so sincere
And he'll wipe away
All your tears
Your face lights up whenever he appears

Chorus
I see you all the time baby
The way you look at him
I wish it was me sweetheart
Boy I wish it was me
But I guess it never will be
Chorus twice

Oh oh oh
The invisble man
You don't see me girl
But I love you
Yes I love you

The invisible man
Oh oh oh
Ya ya
The invisible man
Baby, baby, baby

not fair !!! (you are the one)

2005-09-21T20:55:00.000+08:00

today i shall put my lyrics to the back... nono.... kaili... i know... but i'm already old... even gerard say so... so in future i guess i'm gonna post it behind.... yeah ? ahaha...

juz recieved a msg from chun... he was asking if i wanna chip in for ed's birthday present... i was thinking... y the heck must we get for him ? he dun chip in to any of the bros present... so why must we... i just don't understand... he always use this phrase " count me out... no money..." what the heck... own bro also cannot chip in iszt ? fuck larhs... not fair to the rest of us who got to chip in for his birthday... i know... i might sound a little like him if i don't chip in... and i did chip in... i don't mind coz hes a bro... but i just hate the fact on how he treats the other bros... so... not fair... arhz... enough of that already...

now is the good stuff ? haha... anyway... called gerard just now... i realise i haven't gone out with the bros for quite some time now... and i should... so lets meet up yeah ? oh ya... gerard hope u can play your D.O.T.A... ;p no trng today.... how sad ? haha... call me crazy... or maybe i am... but i kinda miss trng... i wanna train... i wanna swim... i wanna play polo !!! sniff.... now i gotta wait for sunday trng... i know.. i know... y don't i go for the 7pm trng... i dun wanna go for the youth 'a'/ nat team trng... they are trng for thr SEA games... and i ain't that good enough yet... so.. nope... louis trng is better... slack more... hee... ;p

here goes the lyrics... its by c21... and maybe, who knows.. i might sing this to a girl next time... hee...

It's early in the morning
soon another day will dawn
I can't wait to feel your arms
around me again

I believe that we could
lay down the world
together we could live
the dream that never ends

Open up the door
just a little more
baby let me in

You are the one, You are the one
who can make moments last forever
The one that makes the sun shine
where ever you go
why make it harder, than it has to be
just listen, I'll give you love
if you'll give me your heart

Everytime I near you
time is standing still
there's nothing you can't fix
with your heavenly smile

I would never leave you
my love is for life
taking things for granted
was never my style

Just give a little love
say you'll never stop
I'll do anything

You are the one, You are the one
who can make moments last forever
The one that makes the sun shine
where ever you go
why make it harder, than it has to be
just listen, I'll give you love
If you'll give me your heart

And I'll do anything
if you give me your heart
ahh ahh yeah
I'll do anything

You are the one, You are the one
who can make moments last forever
The one that makes the sun shine
where ever you go
give a little love
say you'll never stop
and I'll do anything
I
'll give you love
if you'll give me your heart
ohhhhh ohhhhh

Where ever you go
you are the one
why make it harder, than it has to be
just listen, I'll give you love

if you'll give me your heart

still looking for it (waiting for the stars to fall)

2005-09-20T20:53:00.000+08:00

I hear your name whispered on the wind
It's a sound that makes me cry
I hear a song blow again and again
Through my mind and I don't know why
I wish I didn't feel so strong about you
Like happiness and love revolve around you

Trying to catch your heart
Is like trying to catch a star
So many people love you baby
That must be what you are

Waiting for a star to fall
And carry your heart into my arms
That's where you belong
In my arms baby, yeah

I've learned to feel what I cannot see
But with you I lose that vision
I don't know how to dream your dream
So I'm all caught up in superstition
I want to reach out and pull you to me
Who says I should let a wild one go free

Trying to catch your heart
Is like trying to catch a star
But I can't love you this much baby
And love you from this far

Waiting for a star to fall
And carry your heart into my arms
That's where you belong
In my arms baby, yeah

Waiting (however long...)
I don't like waiting (I'll wait for you...)
It's so hard waiting (don't be too long...)
Seems like waiting (makes me love you even more...)

Waiting for a star to fall
And carry your heart into my arms
That's where you belong
In my arms baby, yeah...

this song is by Boy meets girl... nice song... eventhough its kinda old... still its very nice... and the lyrics is very meaningful too... like yesterday... i watch pride... man... the show is my motivation to do things... esp the ending song... which goes something like... " was born to love you... with every single beat of my heart..." haha... wait till i find the song and lyrics... and i'll post it up... ;p

today i haven done anything much... lets see... i spend the whole afternoon watching Initial D and Love hina... luffing my head off... then i started playing Maplestory... yar.. i know... its dumb and boring.... wat to do... it kills my boredom anyway... haha... level 30 bowman... yeah... ahaha... dumb ass...

miss polo... nvm... would be going trng tml... "miss" the bros... haven't seen them for days... wait... weeks ? oh well... must meet up soon... wonder how are they doing...

what the heck... (nobody knows it but me)

2005-09-19T21:40:00.000+08:00

damn... i juz lost wat i juz wrote... well... i juz try to rewrite again...

I pretended that I'm glad you went away
These four walls closin' more every day
And I'm dying inside
And nobody knows it but me

Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even nobody knows
Now I'm cryin' inside
And nobody knows it but me

Why didn't I say The things
I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is just a-tumblin' down
I can see it so clearly
But you're nowhere around

The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me

I carry a smile when I'm broken in two
Now I'm nobody without someone like you
I'm tremblin' inside,
and nobody knows it but me

I lie awake, its a quarter past three
I'm screamin' at night
As if I thought you'd hear me
Yeah my heart is callin' you
And nobody knows it but me

How blue can I get
You could ask my heart
But like a jigsaw puzzle its been torn all apart
A million words couldn't say just how I feel
A million years from now you know
I'll be lovin' you still (repeat 1)

Tomorrow mornin' I'm hittin' the dusty road
Gonna find you wherever, ever you might go
I'm gonna unload my heart
And hope you come back to me
Said when the nights are lonely...

this song is by Babyface... the lyrics sounds like what i'm feeling now... the emptyness inside me... juz watched Pride on channel U... the ice hockey jap show... its damn nice... and i felt like i'm like the captian/star of the show... difference is that he had a girl beside him in whatever he do... in games, the girl will cheer him on and everything... but me... i dun... haiz...

like the new look ? haha... yar... marleen done it for me... its was such a good job well done... thanks marleen... good job ! *pats on her back*

the 3 days of chalet was fun... okie.. not really... but at least i could some what enjoy... anyway, its more like a 12 to 6 session... of marjong... yar... a total of 18 hours of marjong... well... its stil a gain to me... i won... but not much... 40+, and we're playing in kinda small amounts... the kids/ babies were all so cute... and nosiy too... ahaha... but i dun mind... its fun playing with them... teasing them, seeing their reactions and stuff... and they are quite smart too... damn.. i couldn't post the pics... oh well... next time i guess...

got to get my eyes off the com... been on the com for the whole day...

tillyson.. out...;p

2nd blog by popular requests !!! ( HOW TO DEAL )

2005-09-16T13:56:00.000+08:00

Sometimes a man has to choose
And do something he doesn't wanna do
Do I live my life with you as my wife
Or do I go on and pursue my lifetime dream
I gotta do this for me
Cuz if I don't I'll probably regret it
But if I do I'll probably regret it
How do I cope

How do you cope when
The one you love is with somebody else
And there's nothing you could do about it
How do I deal with
The fact that you had a chance
But you chose to turn away for your career
I gotta take it though it's heartbreakin'
It's something that I had to do
But nobody said that it would hurt so bad
So how do I live...how do I deal without you

It's killing me to know
That your heart hurts with me
But you're with him cause I chose
To be in this industry
Money, shows, and hoes come along with luxury and pain
Is all you see when you think about it
But this is the life that I was given
So I have to live it to the fullest
But how do I deal in the meantime without you

How do you cope when
The one you love is with somebody else
And there's nothing you could do about it
How do I deal with
The fact that you had a chance
But you chose to turn away for your career
I gotta take it though it's heartbreakin'
It's something that I had to do

But nobody said that it would hurt so bad

So how do I live...how do I deal without you

man... i love this song... its by frankie j... anyway... by popular request... i am here bloging my second blog before i change some stuff on this blog... lets see... wat shall i write abt... hmm...

well before anything... thanks marleen... ;p thank you for helping me on this blog... i really need it...

its been 3 weeks of sch... holidays... and i'm slacking like mad... maybe its time to work.... yes... back to the chair and sunglasses, looking at babes without them coming over and get punch in the face... i dream job as a part time... not full time... a LIFEGUARD... yes.. i am a lifeguard... i konw i know... i don't look like one... hopefully i could get a girl soon... eventhough i told amadeus that i won't get one... i really need one... one that i could love and control me... i've just been single for far too long i guess... a year ?crazy me... but.. look at me.. friday afternoon and i'm blogging... i should be out with some girl man... i should be like i am before leaving BPS... oh well... lets just said people change...

i should be going to my couisn chalet later... wait... for 3 days and 2 nites... haha... tricking chun zheng... saying that i was going out with some girl during that period of time... so i'll blog again soon.. i hope... and the next time i blog might be different.. i hope... haha...

anyway... kaili... here is it.. the blog entry that u requested... ;p

tillyson's newsasia,

tillyson ;p

first blog !!!!

2005-09-11T12:38:00.000+08:00

okie... here am i... with my first blog... let me tell u this... i have no idea how to blog... let me work this out then i'll blog more... k ? ;p